This Christmas

"Yo, shhhhh."

"Don't shhhh me."

"They gonna hear you through the door."

I stopped walking and turned behind me to look at SB. "Do you even think or do you just speak sometimes?"

"Just keep walking."

"Keep on telling me what to do, SB. Keep it up." I turned back around and pulled at my suitcase that Safaree should be dealing with and continued up the driveway. I smiled getting all excited and ready to see my family. I made it to the steps at the front door and squealed. I left the suitcase and the bottom of the stairs and ran up them.

"Faree, get that."

I heard SB mumble something and ignored it. I rung the doorbell before knocking on the door. I looked back at Safaree taking his precious time walking up the steps.

"Hurry up, Safaree."

"How you gon rush me and leave me with all your shit to carry?"

I wanted to say something back but the door opened and turned to see Jelani's shocked face.

"Yo! Nicki's here!" he dropped his hand from the door and opened his arms. "Whatchu doing here, sis?" he said as I embraced his hug. He squeezed me tightly before he tried to mess up my wig. I hate when he does that.

"Stooooooooooop." I whined. He let me go and moved a little to looked around me.

"She still got you slavin, nigga?"

I looked back at Safaree who finally made it to the top of the stairs and was shaking his head before he dapped Jelani up. "Shit, it's rough out here." I rolled my eyes and turned back around and my eyes bucked when I seen my baby.

"Lambchop!" I moved around Jelani and hugged him sooooooo tightly. "I missssssseeeedd youuuuuuu." I placed kisses all over his cheek as he made faces. Whatever. He loves my kisses. "You didn't miss me?" I held the sides of his face and looked at him while pouting. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes. I missed you, too."

"You better have." I said before I kissed him on his cheek again.

"Okay, stop doing that." I laughed and released his face.

"Where's mommy?"

"She's in the kitchen."

I moved around him and unzipped my jacket while walking towards the kitchen. "Ma?" I walked in the kitchen and she turned around and I smiled as the smile on her face grew. She opened her arms to me while walking around the island.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" she said as I walked into her open arms. We held each other for what seemed like forever. I've really missed my mother so much.

"I got this Christmas off, I wanted to surprise you." I said as she released me from the hug and wiped at tears that I didn't even know were falling.

"Don't cry, you're gonna make me cry." she blinked trying to stop her tears. She looked off before she grabbed my wrist and held it. Wow. I am my mothers child. "Does your father know you're here?" I shook my head no and she pulled me along behind her. Before we could even fully walk out of the kitchen I seen my dad walking in. I felt mommy let my hand go and walked around her to get dad.

"Babygirl?"

I walked into his arms and hugged him. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back. I'm so happy to be home.

---

"Yo, you got me this Nicki?" Jelani turned the hoodie towards me with a "RICH GANG" logo and I shook my head no.

"SB."

"Ayeee, that's whassup!" he walked over to SB and they dapped each other again. Guys. I will never understand them. I balanced Kellise on my lap with my arm and grabbed the box sitting beside me.

"This one's from me." I held the box out for him to take and he walked over to me and opened it up.

"A rolex? Nah. I can't take this."

"Jelani, keep it." I kissed all over Kellise who was sure to be sleep any second. "It's not optional." I said hoping that would make him walk off instead of staring at me with the watch extended towards me. He stood there and I stopped kissing Kellise and looked at him blankly. "Take it."

He shook his head and bent down and kissed me on the cheek. "You be doing too much, sis. Love you." he nudged my head.

"I love you too, you jerk." I looked down at Kellise who was now wide awake. "Did you open your gift from Aunty?" she shook her head yes while grabbing at her ear. "Did you like it?"

She shook her head yes and finally spoke. "It was pretty and pink."

"Was it? Did Imani open her gift?"

"She's sleep."

"She's sleep? Well aunty's going to have to wait, huh?"

"Yo, Nic." I looked up from Kellise and over at Safaree.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna take everybody outside so you can show your mom and dad they gifts or you waiting?"

I shook my head no. "No, we can do it now." I put Kellise on the floor and stood up and held my hand out to her and she grabbed two of my fingers.

"Ma?" she came out of the kitchen.

"Yes, baby?"

"Can you and Daddy come outside? I want to show you guys something." I watched her as she signaled for him to get up from the kitchen table and they both followed behind the rest of us that was heading outside.

"Did you go ahead and make the call, Safaree?"

He nodded his head yes and we all walked outside, down the steps, and to the end of the lawn. I waited for Mommy and Daddy to catch up with the rest of us and then spoke.

"So Mommy, Daddy. I know with Sandy and everything both of your cars that you guys worked so hard for over the years got damaged. I know it's more difficult for you guys to get back and forth from work and everything with Cai and all that. So...." I looked up the street and smiled at the two black BMW's coming towards us. "I got you guys cars so you don't have to worry about that anymore."

Everyone cheered as the cars pulled up in front us. I looked at Mommy and Daddy's face that was filled with just so much joy yet thankfulness. They walked over to me and hugged me at the same time.

"Thank you, babygirl. You don't know how much this means to us."

---

"Did you like the gifts I got you, Ma?

"You know I loved them, baby. You didn't have to get me anything."

"Yes I did." I said as I helped her finish putting the last few dishes in the dishwasher.

"And thank you again for handling Christmas for Micaiah. You didn't have to do that." I waited until Mommy move her hand out of the way and closed the dishwasher. I walked over to the sink and turned on the water to wash my hands.

"Ma, I told you I wanted to take the stress away from you and Daddy."

"Well thank you, baby."

I shook my hands before grabbing a paper towel and drying my hands. I left the water running for Mom and walked over to the kitchen table taking a seat. I watched as Mom washed her hands before coming over to the table to join me.

"Have you enjoyed being off?  It was nice of you and Safaree to surprise us."

"Of course. This is the first Christmas I've spent with my family in years." I made a pout face before making a straight face. I looked down at the table playing with table cloth I was messing with before I looked up. "I've really missed being down here and spending time with you guys. Everything just gets so busy and I don't have time."

"Don't apologize for it, we understand."

"When Cai is done with school do you think you guys would want to move out there?"

"I don't mind."

"Really?"

She nodded her head.

"Do you think Cai would want to?"

"I don't think he wouldn't. I know he misses you just as much as you miss him. It's just a little harder for him to admit."

"I feel like I've neglected you guys. I just wish everything wasn't so time consuming, you know? I've missed almost every important moment in Cai's life so far. I wasn't even there when you and Daddy renewed your vowels, ma." I sighed and leaned back into the chair. "It just sucks sometimes."

"Don't feel sorry for yourself. You're doing what you want to do. Don't beat yourself up about it."

I sighed again. She's right but still. Things just don't feel right when I come home and see that I've missed out on even more things that's going on with them. There was a comfortable silence for a little.

"Is everything good with you and Safaree? I saw he left."

"He went to go see his family. He'll be back. Everything's going good." I slightly smiled. "Way better than things were going a month ago."

"What was happening a month ago?"

"Soooo much, you wouldn't even believe. It was just..." I shook my head. "Everything was falling apart in front of my eyes... I really thought it was over."

"That will never happen."

I cocked my head to the side and stared at her. "How do you know?"

"I know you two. Better than you know yourselves and each other. I see the way he looks at you, and I see the way you look at him. It's the same look I give your father." she pointed towards the living room. "And it's the same look he gives me." I smiled. "You guys are going to have difficult times, Onika. But that doesn't mean you should try to push him away."

"How do you know I do that?"

"When it comes to emotion you're just like your father. You're both very stubborn...whenever I tried to be there for your father he would push me away..." I stared at my mom as she nodded her head. "And push me away, and push me away. I think it took him a while to realize he can't run me off." We shared a laugh. "Eventually he learned how to treat me right because I never gave up. And that's Safaree."

"So I'm daddy and Safaree is you?" We both laughed.

"You might not see it now, but yes. You'll regret the things you're doing to him later...you'll always have that feeling that he'll resent you for something. That's why I always tell you to make things right the moment you have the opportunity. You guys don't want to get to our age and still be worried about the problems in your past."


---

We all sat around in the movie theater I had put in my moms house and watched This Christmas. We've all seen the movie a billion times but we all love it.  It never gets old. I looked over at Jelani and Keisha. Her head was resting on Jelani's shoulder while he held a sleeping Imani in his lap, while Keisha held a sleeping Kellise. I looked over at my mom and dad sitting up in the front and smiled. It's amazing how they've been through so much with each other and their feelings still remained the same. Thinking about me and my mom's talk earlier in the kitchen, I cuddled into Safaree's side more and grabbed his hand and locked our fingers, resting our hands in his lap. He took his attention off the movie and looked down at me, smiling.

"Wussup?"

"Are we gonna be like that?"

"Like what?"

"Mommy and Daddy. Look at them."  He looked over at them laughing and enjoying the movie together. He chuckled and looked down at me.

"Yeah."

"Are you going to be able to deal with me for 50 more years?"

"Nah, are you going to be able to deal with me?" He raised our locked hands up to his chest and bent his head down speaking into my ear. "I'm a lot to handle."

I rolled my eyes and dropped our hands back down to his lap. "Please." I snuggled into his side even more than I already was, adjusting my head that was resting on half of his chest and half of his shoulder. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Since you already talkin while I'm tryna watch this movie, go ahead."

"This is serious." I looked into his face

"I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"Bend down."

"For what? We all grown in here."

"Please. I'm not saying it out loud." I whined. He leaned his head down and I looked at the movie screen before looking down at our hands and speaking.

"Can you promise me something?" I bit my lip and looked over at my mom and dad who were now dosing off. Awww, they can't hang. I slightly laughed.

"Anything."

"Promise me even when I'm being difficult you'll continue to try with me."

"You think I would just give up?"

"You almost did." I said lowly.

"I never will again."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Seal it with a kiss?" He leaned his head up and pecked my lips.

"We're gonna spend the rest of our lives together, Nic. You can't get rid of me."

"So you're going to stick with me through menopause?" I looked up at his face and covered my mouth to smother out my laugh.

"Uh...yeah." I laughed and then remembered something. I unlocked our hands and he looked at me weird. I leaned closely to his ear and spoke. "Come here." I pulled at his arm.

"Where are we going?"

"You didn't grab your gift from under the tree." I stood up and he stood up. I looked over and Jelani and SB shared a head nod before we quietly stepped out of the room. He followed me down the hall to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"I thought we said no gifts?"

"We say that every year, SB." I walked over to the Christmas tree and bent down grabbing the small square box wrapped in red and black wrapping paper. "You thought I was serious this time?"

"Uh..yeah."

I stood up and walked over to the couch sitting down beside him.

"So you ain't get me a gift, nigga?" I said slightly bring the box back towards me that I was reaching to give Safaree. "Wow. I'll just take this back."

"Nah. Nah. Nah. I gotchu something. Chill." I laughed and gave him the box that his hand was reaching out for. "You really wrapped this like I'm a little kid, huh."

"You're my son. Now shush and open your gift before I really take it back."

I stared at him as he licked his lips and took his time opening his gift. He really just does things to get a rise out of me. I glared at him as he tried to unwrap the gift neatly and smacked his arm. "Faree."

"Aight. Chill."

"Stop saying that to me, you know I hate that."  he finished opening the box. Finally. "Wait. Let me do this." I took the box out of his hand and he shook his head.

"So controlling."

"Whatever." I adjusted myself on the couch to where I was facing SB more.

"Soooo..." I took the lid off the box and pulled out the two his and hers infinity bracelets. "I got these bracelets more for me than you. But still for you..." I smiled at his face when it suddenly clicked in his mind what I was doing. I took the 'his' bracelet and handed it to SB. "They didn't have anymore color ones" I pouted.  "I had to get us black." I made a face. "So I got these because I love where we're at right now. And every time we argue and we hate each other, or I'm being difficult and you're being a jerk." I laughed. "Or every time you feel like giving up on me..." I blinked feeling tears on the verge. Ugh. I promised myself I would stop crying so much. "Or I feel like giving up on you..." I felt SB's thumb wipe at a tear that was falling. "...we have these. You don't have to wear it." I felt him wrap his arm around my waist and pull me towards him. He grabbed at the box and bracelet that were sliding off my lap and put it in place once I got comfortable. "Just have it as a reminder." I said as I wiped my face. "Of how much you mean to me even when I don't show it."

I handed him the bracelet and he held it while he reached into his back pocket. He pulled out his wallet and put the bracelet in his wallet.

"I'll keep it in here." he said trying to put the bracelet in his wallet gently and neatly. "I'll always have it with me."

"Do you like it?"

"I love it."

"Are you just saying that so I don't feel bad?"

"Nah."

"Promise?"

"I promise." he leaned towards me and kissed me. Grabbing my hips he turned me placing me on his lap. I squealed against his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck. He broke the kiss and looked at me. "Why wouldn't I like the gift?"

"Cause your ignorant ass always wants jewelry."

"This is jewelry. I gotta take more care of it than I do my other ones though."

I smiled and pointed my finger in his face. "You better."

"Mhm." I stared into his face as he looked around the room. He looked over to his left. "Ahh." he reached the best he could to get a little pink box that was sitting over on a little table next to couch. I placed my hands on his torso. "So." he took the lid off the box and sat it beside him before covering his hand over it so I couldn't see what was in the box.

"Did TT tell you what I was getting you?"

I shook my head no. He looked at me weird and I laughed. "No, babe. I promise."

"Mhm." he said nodding his head and I rolled my eyes. "So I got this necklace for you." he removed his hand from the box and pulled out a necklace with an infinity pendant on it.

"Wooooooow." I said. How did we get each other the exact same thing? That never happens.

"But yeah, like I was saying. I got you this because I thought it would be nice. I like what it means and it's all sentimental. I know you like that stuff. So." he shrugged and pointed at my neck. I moved my hair out of the way and he picked up the necklace and placed it around my neck.

"And what does it symbolize?" I knew what they symbolized obviously but I just wanted to hear him say it to make this moment cuter. He looked at me with his dead face and I gave a cute innocent smile. "What does it mean, Faree?" I said in a baby voice.

"It means whatever you want it to mean. But for us." I smiled at 'us.' "Unity, eternity, and everlasting love. I like the symbol too cause it got the two circle crossing or whatever." he licked his lips. "So that's us."

"That's us?" I said pointing to the pendant on my necklace with a smile.

"Yeah, babe. That's us." I held the side of his face and smiled at him. He chuckled looking back at me. "You know what I love?"

"What?" I cocked my head to the side looking at him.

"When you look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that. Any time I do something stupid or any time I do something nice for you and you give me that look you give me." he licked his lips again. "I love that." I stared back at him still smiling and realized that I really must do that. That's what Mommy must have been talking about.

"Was this a good Christmas for you?" he said adjusting me on his lap. I dropped my hands from his face and rested them in his lap.

"The best. I'm going back with you tomorrow to see your family. I miss them. Did you tell them I said hi?"

"Yeah, my mom said you better be there tomorrow or your gift is going in the trash." he said before he laughed. I smacked his arm. It's not that funny.

"Was my son there?"

"You mean MY son. Elijah's mine."

"No, he's mine. Your sister said so, so ha!"

"Doesn't matter. He's mine."

"Well you're mine, so he's mine."

"You don't play fair." I laughed. He's so dramatic sometimes. "Wait. Where's my other gift? You think I forgot about that?"

"What other gift?"

"Mr and Mrs. Claus."

"Well, where's Mr. Claus?"

"I got the outfit in my suitcase. You playin." he leaned up and captured my lips.

"So do I." I said before I captured his lips again. "Too bad, I'm not giving it up."

"If you not giving it up you wouldn't have packed the outfit."

"I brought it to tease. It's sexy, too." I leaned close to his ear and whispered seductively. "It's see through."

I heard him huff and I smiled.

"C'mon baby, it's the season of giving." I smiled and bit my bottom lip while he kissed me down the middle of my neck.

"I'm not giving you anything while my mom, dad, and little brother are in the house Faree."

"You had no problem giving it up that one night." I laughed knowing what he was referring to.

"Well that was different." I grabbed the side of his face and pulled it up making him look at me and leaned close speaking into his ear. "You wasn't so rough back then."

"I'll have Santa take it easy on you."

"Oh?" I leaned back and looked into his face. "So you're just gonna let some other man get my goods?"

"Look. You playing hard to get, let's go." he gripped my waist, standing up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Santa been working all year, it's time for him to have some fun." I leaned into his body and laughed as he rushed us to the bedroom.