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It's so weird having days off. I have absolutely nothing to do, and nowhere to go. It's raining and thundering outside and we're still in bed. Safaree is still sleep and I'm laying here on his chest. He's so cute when he's sleep. He be so knocked, it's cute. Laying here with him made my thoughts drift off to last night. I guess it was like a breakthrough. Those dreams were definitely trying to tell me something and I think I figured it out. Though it's something I've known and should've been doing in the first place and I wouldn't have even went through half of the bullshit I've had to go through with Safaree. But I'm happy for it. Not for going through it but it made our friendship stronger more than anything.  

I really wish he would wake up. I know he's probably tired from having to sit up with me last night while I kept crying. All I remember from last night is him to just telling me to stop crying as he rubbed my back. I think he was getting annoyed with it, to be honest, but oh well. He was so confused. I don't think he understood. Hell, I didn't understand my damn self. All of those feelings and emotions just hit me out of nowhere. I don't know why I don't just tell Safaree my feelings and thoughts at all times, knowing damn well he's one of the people who truly cares. At times I think he cares more about me then he does his self, and yeah. He definitely cares more about me than me. Crazy.

I felt him shifting. Thank God, he's waking up. I can't be bothered with my thoughts today. I kept my head resting on his chest as he looked around like he always does. I didn't move to see but I'm sure that's exactly what he was doing. And in any second now after he gets done yawning he's going to ask me am I up. Watch.

"Nic, you up?"

I smiled a little and moved off of him sitting up on my elbow and looking at him who was clearly still trying to wake up.

"Good morning." He looked at me with a small lazy smirk before he turned to look at the clock. He laughed a little and turned back to me and dropped his head back down on the pillow.

"Good afternoon."

I rolled onto my back as I watched him climb out of bed and make his way to the bathroom to brush and all that good stuff. I really need to think of something to do today because I'm going to go fucking crazy if I have to sit in this house. Don't get me wrong, I'm a homebody. I love to be home. But now that I'm forced to be home I would rather be ANY where but here right now. Dead. Wait. Where the hell do I think I'm going when it's thundering and raining outside? Chile please. Nevermind. I'll be fine at home.

"How long you been up?"

I turned on to my side resting on my elbow again.

"A while. I've just been sitting up, waiting for you to wake up." I stared at Safaree as he came over to the bed and bent down, giving me a kiss. He sat down on the bed and leaned up against the headboard. I laid my head on his thigh and looked up at him staring down at me.

"You all good from last night?"

I nodded and gave a slight smile. I hope he doesn't want to talk about it though, 'cause I really don't. I watched his face as it looked like he was trying to think about or remember something. I felt him getting ready to move so I leaned up. I seen him walk over to his dresser and put on some sweats over his boxers. 

“What are you doing?”

“I just remembered something, what time is it again?”

Uhm, nigga what? I know for a fact I asked him a question.  I looked over at the clock as he still frantically searched his dresser for something. 

“It’s like, 12:42. Why?”

“I gotta go somewhere.”

What the hell?! 

“Where are you going when it’s raining and thundering outside, Safaree?” I tilted my head to the side looking at him who was clearly not hearing a word I had just said. He continued running around the room and turned sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed. I rest my elbow on my leg and rested my chin on my fist. I dropped my hands in my lap and placed them behind me, leaning back a little. What the hell exactly is Safaree looking for and WHERE the hell exactly is he going?!

“Safaree!”

“Yeah?”

“Where are you going?!”

“I got something to take care of.”

I rolled my eyes. Really? He says that when he’s hiding something. 

“You wanna tell me who you’re gonna be with?” I leaned off my arms and cross them across my chest. I was getting irritated now. 

“Sean”

"For what?!"

I stared at him as he walked over into his closet before he came walking back out with his coat, a hat, and sunglasses on. I squinted my eyes at him as I watched him place his keys in his pocket. He walked over to me and bent down to give me a kiss but I moved my head to the side looking away.

"Nic, don't be like that."

"Leave me alone, Safaree."

I felt him place his hand under my chin to make me look at him. We stared at each other for a minute before I felt his lips on my forehead. I rolled my eyes as he pulled away and stood up.

"I wont be gone long. Call me if you need anything."

I fell back on the bed and sighed deeply as he walked out of the door. I rolled over on to my stomach with my face buried in the bed whenever I heard the front door shut. I rolled over again and stood up from the bed and headed for the bathroom. I turned on the shower and looked around the shower making sure my face wash and everything was in there. I stepped back and raised Safaree's t-shirt up over my body, tossing it to the ground. I took the hair tie off my wrist placing my hair in a messy bun. I slid off my thong and stepped into the hot shower.

This felt so good right now. All the tension in my body and my muscles were relaxing. I began washing my body as my thoughts of course drifted off to Safaree and his sneaky ass. What the hell exactly is he up to?! I don't want him hanging out with Sean, I don't trust it. I know, you would never think someone like Sean Kingston would be a bad influence on Safaree, huh? You'd swear it would be the other way around, but nope. All they do when they hang out is go to strip clubs, parties, and drink. I don't like that.

 I know how Safaree can be when he drinks. I don't like him drinking around me, let alone would I want him drinking when he's not around me. He becomes this woman hungry person, trust me. When he's drunk he can't keep his hands off of me. Not that I have a problem with it, but I don't want him out there being woman hungry with other women. And now here my thoughts go, thinking the worst. What if Safaree is...nah. No. No. He would never cheat on me. Please, he would never leave this. If so he'd be the dumbest nigga alive.

As much as I'm tryna convince myself that he's not...even I don't believe it. He's probably fed up with me. I sighed deeply as I continued washing my body. What if he does have somebody else? I wouldn't be surprised by the way I keep pushing him away. And one of Sean's thirty ass groupie friends has had her eye out on Safaree since him and Sean started hanging.

I have half the mind right now to go hop in my car out this nasty weather and go see what exactly Safaree is up to, but I'm going to trust him with this...for now. When he gets back I'm definitely hammering him with questions. It's really not him that I don't trust, it's Sean. And I know Sean doesn't know about me and Safaree's relationship or whatever we have, but he should get the hint.

Maybe I'm just overreacting and thinking too much. I looked down at my now red arm that I had been scrubbing for I don't know how long. And I flinched when I realized the water had gotten cold. "Damn." I hurried to turn the shower off so fast I thought I broke the handles. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my body. I bent down picking up SB's shirt and my thong and tossed it in his clothes bin in his bathroom and stepped back into his bedroom.

Walking over to his dresser I bent down to my drawer. I know right, why the hell do I have a drawer in Safaree's room in his dresser. Ever since we started our little..."thing" I haven't slept in my room. Only when we argue but other than that, I'm in his room. It's only my thongs in his room, 'cause I wear his t-shirts. I grabbed a pair of my thongs and stood up. I dropped the towel from around my body and held on to the dresser as I put on my thongs.

 I bent down again grabbing my favorite t-shirt of Safaree's, his "Damn Gali" one and threw it on. As I was standing up I hear my phone beeping, saying my phone was about to die. What. "Damn phone is always about to die, I don't even use it." I walked over to his nightstand and picked up the chord from the charger that was already plugged in and plugged it into my phone.

I brought the phone with me as I sat down on SB's bed. I pulled up my twitter app and dropped my hand in my lap waiting for it to load. I lotion-ed my body as I waited. Placing my lotion back on my nightstand, I bust out laughing at the first tweet that was on my timeline. Why are my barbz still going in on Foxy? They need to let her be great. I strolled through my timeline laughing over the tweets. I wanted to badge some of the Foxy slander, but I wouldn't dare. I clicked on the button to compose a new tweet as I sat there and thought. Hmmmm, ok.

Dear Barbz, it's a rainy and stormy day in Miami right now. I feel rather indifferent about this right now. I wanna go do something. Luv, HB.

I lurked for some time at all the suggestions the barbz were giving me, and some of them wanting to come over.  I closed the app and sighed deeply. I tossed my phone on the nightstand and leaned against the headboard playing with my nails. Where the fuck is Safaree? I got up from the bed and walked over to the dresser. I picked up my iPhone that I have but have never used. I don't know how to work this shit. I slid the lockscreen and started at the screen for a moment. I clicked on the Instagram app and it opened up Safaree's IG timeline that he left up. I'm really not sneaky, and I'm usually not like this. But I feel like he's up to something. I scrolled the timeline to see if Sean had instagramed a pic or anything but nothing. I dropped the phone and went back to SB's bed.

---

I really need to go food shopping. We don't have shit in this house forreal. I need some sweets or something, this diet is not what's poppin' right now. I leaned on the fridge door I had open and continued looking in the fridge at a whole bunch of nothing. A bunch of healthy shit and I didn't want it. I closed the fridge and smiled. Haha! I just remembered I had a huge ass bag of M&M's in my pantry. I went and grabbed the M&M's and stood at the island eating them. I looked over at the clock and rolled my eyes. Where the fuck is Safaree? I picked up my phone while eating my M&M's but paused when I heard a car door shut. I figured it was SB so I sat my phone down and continued eating my M&M's.

"What are you doing up?" Safaree walked in and dropped his keys on the dresser against the wall in the living room and made his way over to me.

"I needed something sweet." I plopped another M&M in my mouth as he bent down and kissed me. Ew. The smell of alcohol came flowing through his mouth. He turned to walk away but I grabbed hold of his wrist stopping him. "Faree, have you been drinking?" He looked at me and laughed but he never answered my question. I put the rest of the M&M's in my mouth and pulled him closer to me.

"Safaree." I looked up at him and removed his sunglasses and looked at his red eyes. "Safaree." He wrapped his arms around my lower back and looked down at me but still wasn't speaking a word. I felt him pick me up and sit me on the island as I stayed looking at his eyes that were looking at my body. He stepped in between my legs and leaned his face into my neck.

"Why are you so sexy?"

I placed my hand on his neck as he was placing kisses on my neck. If he leaves a hickey I'll be so pissed, even though it was feeling soooooo good. "Safaree." I hate that he just made me slightly moan his name. I'm trying to be serious. "Listen to me for a second." He continued sucking on my neck and his left hand ran up his shirt that was swallowing my body. I jerked a bit when I felt his tight grip on my waist. "Babe." I grabbed his chin and made him look up at me.

"Why have you been drinking, Safaree?" his eyes focused on my thighs as his hands were caressing them. I made him look up at me again and this time kept my hand holding his chin. "What did you do today, SB?"

"I was just chillin with the guys."

"Is that all? It was just you and the guys?" he bit his lip and ran his hands up my sides and gripped the sides of my stomach pulling me closer until we couldn't be any closer.

"Just me and the guys."

"Are you lying to me?" I stared at him.

"Do I ever lie to you?" He doesn't, to be honest. Even if he tried he wouldn't get away with it. I always know when he's lying. "Come here, girl." His lips attacked mine. I melted under the touch of his big hands caressing my thighs. He stopped kissing me, moving back to my neck.

"Don't run off again like you did today, Safaree."

He stopped kissing my neck to speak up. "I wont."

"Promise? I don't want you drinking like this anymore."

"I love you."

I wish this nigga would listen to what I'm trying to say. "And I love you, Faree. Are you listening to me?" He pulled back from neck and looked me in the eyes. I stared into his face and I could tell something was wrong through his drunken eyes. I could just tell something wasn't right. He nodded his head and I made my pout face, nodding my head just as he was. He stopped nodding his head and gently grabbed the back of my neck tilting it back as he kissed my neck more. "I missed you, Nicki." I squinted my eyes in confusion. I grabbed both sides of his face and titled my head down looking at him.

"I'm here." I continued looking into his eyes trying to read him but I couldn't get anything. It was just a plain, blank stare. Safaree needs some sleep or something. I'm not understanding what's going on with him right now. I pushed him back a little but held onto him as I hopped down from the island. "Let's get you some rest, baby." I grabbed his hand and pulled him behind me.

"I'm not tired, Nic." I turned off the kitchen light and got mad as soon as I realized I left my phone in the kitchen. Whatever.

"Yes you are" I tried pulling Safaree along but my arms were hurting and he was moving so slow. "Hang on to me, babe." He placed his arms around my waist and pulled me into his body. I sped up my walking, so I can get him to his bed. Walking down the hall, my thoughts began to start running free but I pushed them to the back of my mind as we made it to his bed. "Here." I unwrapped his hands from around me and led him to the bed to sit down. I took off his coat while he just sat there and kept running his hands up and down my thighs and licking his lips. I tossed his coat in the corner chair in his room and took off his hat tossing in the chair as well. I felt his hands grabbing at my thong trying to pull them down. I grabbed his wrist and gently pushed him back laying him down.

"I'll be right back, Faree. Don't move." I walked down the hall to retrieve my phone while trying to think about what the hell exactly is going on with Safaree.