This Christmas

"Yo, shhhhh."

"Don't shhhh me."

"They gonna hear you through the door."

I stopped walking and turned behind me to look at SB. "Do you even think or do you just speak sometimes?"

"Just keep walking."

"Keep on telling me what to do, SB. Keep it up." I turned back around and pulled at my suitcase that Safaree should be dealing with and continued up the driveway. I smiled getting all excited and ready to see my family. I made it to the steps at the front door and squealed. I left the suitcase and the bottom of the stairs and ran up them.

"Faree, get that."

I heard SB mumble something and ignored it. I rung the doorbell before knocking on the door. I looked back at Safaree taking his precious time walking up the steps.

"Hurry up, Safaree."

"How you gon rush me and leave me with all your shit to carry?"

I wanted to say something back but the door opened and turned to see Jelani's shocked face.

"Yo! Nicki's here!" he dropped his hand from the door and opened his arms. "Whatchu doing here, sis?" he said as I embraced his hug. He squeezed me tightly before he tried to mess up my wig. I hate when he does that.

"Stooooooooooop." I whined. He let me go and moved a little to looked around me.

"She still got you slavin, nigga?"

I looked back at Safaree who finally made it to the top of the stairs and was shaking his head before he dapped Jelani up. "Shit, it's rough out here." I rolled my eyes and turned back around and my eyes bucked when I seen my baby.

"Lambchop!" I moved around Jelani and hugged him sooooooo tightly. "I missssssseeeedd youuuuuuu." I placed kisses all over his cheek as he made faces. Whatever. He loves my kisses. "You didn't miss me?" I held the sides of his face and looked at him while pouting. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes. I missed you, too."

"You better have." I said before I kissed him on his cheek again.

"Okay, stop doing that." I laughed and released his face.

"Where's mommy?"

"She's in the kitchen."

I moved around him and unzipped my jacket while walking towards the kitchen. "Ma?" I walked in the kitchen and she turned around and I smiled as the smile on her face grew. She opened her arms to me while walking around the island.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" she said as I walked into her open arms. We held each other for what seemed like forever. I've really missed my mother so much.

"I got this Christmas off, I wanted to surprise you." I said as she released me from the hug and wiped at tears that I didn't even know were falling.

"Don't cry, you're gonna make me cry." she blinked trying to stop her tears. She looked off before she grabbed my wrist and held it. Wow. I am my mothers child. "Does your father know you're here?" I shook my head no and she pulled me along behind her. Before we could even fully walk out of the kitchen I seen my dad walking in. I felt mommy let my hand go and walked around her to get dad.

"Babygirl?"

I walked into his arms and hugged him. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back. I'm so happy to be home.

---

"Yo, you got me this Nicki?" Jelani turned the hoodie towards me with a "RICH GANG" logo and I shook my head no.

"SB."

"Ayeee, that's whassup!" he walked over to SB and they dapped each other again. Guys. I will never understand them. I balanced Kellise on my lap with my arm and grabbed the box sitting beside me.

"This one's from me." I held the box out for him to take and he walked over to me and opened it up.

"A rolex? Nah. I can't take this."

"Jelani, keep it." I kissed all over Kellise who was sure to be sleep any second. "It's not optional." I said hoping that would make him walk off instead of staring at me with the watch extended towards me. He stood there and I stopped kissing Kellise and looked at him blankly. "Take it."

He shook his head and bent down and kissed me on the cheek. "You be doing too much, sis. Love you." he nudged my head.

"I love you too, you jerk." I looked down at Kellise who was now wide awake. "Did you open your gift from Aunty?" she shook her head yes while grabbing at her ear. "Did you like it?"

She shook her head yes and finally spoke. "It was pretty and pink."

"Was it? Did Imani open her gift?"

"She's sleep."

"She's sleep? Well aunty's going to have to wait, huh?"

"Yo, Nic." I looked up from Kellise and over at Safaree.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna take everybody outside so you can show your mom and dad they gifts or you waiting?"

I shook my head no. "No, we can do it now." I put Kellise on the floor and stood up and held my hand out to her and she grabbed two of my fingers.

"Ma?" she came out of the kitchen.

"Yes, baby?"

"Can you and Daddy come outside? I want to show you guys something." I watched her as she signaled for him to get up from the kitchen table and they both followed behind the rest of us that was heading outside.

"Did you go ahead and make the call, Safaree?"

He nodded his head yes and we all walked outside, down the steps, and to the end of the lawn. I waited for Mommy and Daddy to catch up with the rest of us and then spoke.

"So Mommy, Daddy. I know with Sandy and everything both of your cars that you guys worked so hard for over the years got damaged. I know it's more difficult for you guys to get back and forth from work and everything with Cai and all that. So...." I looked up the street and smiled at the two black BMW's coming towards us. "I got you guys cars so you don't have to worry about that anymore."

Everyone cheered as the cars pulled up in front us. I looked at Mommy and Daddy's face that was filled with just so much joy yet thankfulness. They walked over to me and hugged me at the same time.

"Thank you, babygirl. You don't know how much this means to us."

---

"Did you like the gifts I got you, Ma?

"You know I loved them, baby. You didn't have to get me anything."

"Yes I did." I said as I helped her finish putting the last few dishes in the dishwasher.

"And thank you again for handling Christmas for Micaiah. You didn't have to do that." I waited until Mommy move her hand out of the way and closed the dishwasher. I walked over to the sink and turned on the water to wash my hands.

"Ma, I told you I wanted to take the stress away from you and Daddy."

"Well thank you, baby."

I shook my hands before grabbing a paper towel and drying my hands. I left the water running for Mom and walked over to the kitchen table taking a seat. I watched as Mom washed her hands before coming over to the table to join me.

"Have you enjoyed being off?  It was nice of you and Safaree to surprise us."

"Of course. This is the first Christmas I've spent with my family in years." I made a pout face before making a straight face. I looked down at the table playing with table cloth I was messing with before I looked up. "I've really missed being down here and spending time with you guys. Everything just gets so busy and I don't have time."

"Don't apologize for it, we understand."

"When Cai is done with school do you think you guys would want to move out there?"

"I don't mind."

"Really?"

She nodded her head.

"Do you think Cai would want to?"

"I don't think he wouldn't. I know he misses you just as much as you miss him. It's just a little harder for him to admit."

"I feel like I've neglected you guys. I just wish everything wasn't so time consuming, you know? I've missed almost every important moment in Cai's life so far. I wasn't even there when you and Daddy renewed your vowels, ma." I sighed and leaned back into the chair. "It just sucks sometimes."

"Don't feel sorry for yourself. You're doing what you want to do. Don't beat yourself up about it."

I sighed again. She's right but still. Things just don't feel right when I come home and see that I've missed out on even more things that's going on with them. There was a comfortable silence for a little.

"Is everything good with you and Safaree? I saw he left."

"He went to go see his family. He'll be back. Everything's going good." I slightly smiled. "Way better than things were going a month ago."

"What was happening a month ago?"

"Soooo much, you wouldn't even believe. It was just..." I shook my head. "Everything was falling apart in front of my eyes... I really thought it was over."

"That will never happen."

I cocked my head to the side and stared at her. "How do you know?"

"I know you two. Better than you know yourselves and each other. I see the way he looks at you, and I see the way you look at him. It's the same look I give your father." she pointed towards the living room. "And it's the same look he gives me." I smiled. "You guys are going to have difficult times, Onika. But that doesn't mean you should try to push him away."

"How do you know I do that?"

"When it comes to emotion you're just like your father. You're both very stubborn...whenever I tried to be there for your father he would push me away..." I stared at my mom as she nodded her head. "And push me away, and push me away. I think it took him a while to realize he can't run me off." We shared a laugh. "Eventually he learned how to treat me right because I never gave up. And that's Safaree."

"So I'm daddy and Safaree is you?" We both laughed.

"You might not see it now, but yes. You'll regret the things you're doing to him later...you'll always have that feeling that he'll resent you for something. That's why I always tell you to make things right the moment you have the opportunity. You guys don't want to get to our age and still be worried about the problems in your past."


---

We all sat around in the movie theater I had put in my moms house and watched This Christmas. We've all seen the movie a billion times but we all love it.  It never gets old. I looked over at Jelani and Keisha. Her head was resting on Jelani's shoulder while he held a sleeping Imani in his lap, while Keisha held a sleeping Kellise. I looked over at my mom and dad sitting up in the front and smiled. It's amazing how they've been through so much with each other and their feelings still remained the same. Thinking about me and my mom's talk earlier in the kitchen, I cuddled into Safaree's side more and grabbed his hand and locked our fingers, resting our hands in his lap. He took his attention off the movie and looked down at me, smiling.

"Wussup?"

"Are we gonna be like that?"

"Like what?"

"Mommy and Daddy. Look at them."  He looked over at them laughing and enjoying the movie together. He chuckled and looked down at me.

"Yeah."

"Are you going to be able to deal with me for 50 more years?"

"Nah, are you going to be able to deal with me?" He raised our locked hands up to his chest and bent his head down speaking into my ear. "I'm a lot to handle."

I rolled my eyes and dropped our hands back down to his lap. "Please." I snuggled into his side even more than I already was, adjusting my head that was resting on half of his chest and half of his shoulder. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Since you already talkin while I'm tryna watch this movie, go ahead."

"This is serious." I looked into his face

"I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"Bend down."

"For what? We all grown in here."

"Please. I'm not saying it out loud." I whined. He leaned his head down and I looked at the movie screen before looking down at our hands and speaking.

"Can you promise me something?" I bit my lip and looked over at my mom and dad who were now dosing off. Awww, they can't hang. I slightly laughed.

"Anything."

"Promise me even when I'm being difficult you'll continue to try with me."

"You think I would just give up?"

"You almost did." I said lowly.

"I never will again."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Seal it with a kiss?" He leaned his head up and pecked my lips.

"We're gonna spend the rest of our lives together, Nic. You can't get rid of me."

"So you're going to stick with me through menopause?" I looked up at his face and covered my mouth to smother out my laugh.

"Uh...yeah." I laughed and then remembered something. I unlocked our hands and he looked at me weird. I leaned closely to his ear and spoke. "Come here." I pulled at his arm.

"Where are we going?"

"You didn't grab your gift from under the tree." I stood up and he stood up. I looked over and Jelani and SB shared a head nod before we quietly stepped out of the room. He followed me down the hall to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"I thought we said no gifts?"

"We say that every year, SB." I walked over to the Christmas tree and bent down grabbing the small square box wrapped in red and black wrapping paper. "You thought I was serious this time?"

"Uh..yeah."

I stood up and walked over to the couch sitting down beside him.

"So you ain't get me a gift, nigga?" I said slightly bring the box back towards me that I was reaching to give Safaree. "Wow. I'll just take this back."

"Nah. Nah. Nah. I gotchu something. Chill." I laughed and gave him the box that his hand was reaching out for. "You really wrapped this like I'm a little kid, huh."

"You're my son. Now shush and open your gift before I really take it back."

I stared at him as he licked his lips and took his time opening his gift. He really just does things to get a rise out of me. I glared at him as he tried to unwrap the gift neatly and smacked his arm. "Faree."

"Aight. Chill."

"Stop saying that to me, you know I hate that."  he finished opening the box. Finally. "Wait. Let me do this." I took the box out of his hand and he shook his head.

"So controlling."

"Whatever." I adjusted myself on the couch to where I was facing SB more.

"Soooo..." I took the lid off the box and pulled out the two his and hers infinity bracelets. "I got these bracelets more for me than you. But still for you..." I smiled at his face when it suddenly clicked in his mind what I was doing. I took the 'his' bracelet and handed it to SB. "They didn't have anymore color ones" I pouted.  "I had to get us black." I made a face. "So I got these because I love where we're at right now. And every time we argue and we hate each other, or I'm being difficult and you're being a jerk." I laughed. "Or every time you feel like giving up on me..." I blinked feeling tears on the verge. Ugh. I promised myself I would stop crying so much. "Or I feel like giving up on you..." I felt SB's thumb wipe at a tear that was falling. "...we have these. You don't have to wear it." I felt him wrap his arm around my waist and pull me towards him. He grabbed at the box and bracelet that were sliding off my lap and put it in place once I got comfortable. "Just have it as a reminder." I said as I wiped my face. "Of how much you mean to me even when I don't show it."

I handed him the bracelet and he held it while he reached into his back pocket. He pulled out his wallet and put the bracelet in his wallet.

"I'll keep it in here." he said trying to put the bracelet in his wallet gently and neatly. "I'll always have it with me."

"Do you like it?"

"I love it."

"Are you just saying that so I don't feel bad?"

"Nah."

"Promise?"

"I promise." he leaned towards me and kissed me. Grabbing my hips he turned me placing me on his lap. I squealed against his lips and wrapped my arms around his neck. He broke the kiss and looked at me. "Why wouldn't I like the gift?"

"Cause your ignorant ass always wants jewelry."

"This is jewelry. I gotta take more care of it than I do my other ones though."

I smiled and pointed my finger in his face. "You better."

"Mhm." I stared into his face as he looked around the room. He looked over to his left. "Ahh." he reached the best he could to get a little pink box that was sitting over on a little table next to couch. I placed my hands on his torso. "So." he took the lid off the box and sat it beside him before covering his hand over it so I couldn't see what was in the box.

"Did TT tell you what I was getting you?"

I shook my head no. He looked at me weird and I laughed. "No, babe. I promise."

"Mhm." he said nodding his head and I rolled my eyes. "So I got this necklace for you." he removed his hand from the box and pulled out a necklace with an infinity pendant on it.

"Wooooooow." I said. How did we get each other the exact same thing? That never happens.

"But yeah, like I was saying. I got you this because I thought it would be nice. I like what it means and it's all sentimental. I know you like that stuff. So." he shrugged and pointed at my neck. I moved my hair out of the way and he picked up the necklace and placed it around my neck.

"And what does it symbolize?" I knew what they symbolized obviously but I just wanted to hear him say it to make this moment cuter. He looked at me with his dead face and I gave a cute innocent smile. "What does it mean, Faree?" I said in a baby voice.

"It means whatever you want it to mean. But for us." I smiled at 'us.' "Unity, eternity, and everlasting love. I like the symbol too cause it got the two circle crossing or whatever." he licked his lips. "So that's us."

"That's us?" I said pointing to the pendant on my necklace with a smile.

"Yeah, babe. That's us." I held the side of his face and smiled at him. He chuckled looking back at me. "You know what I love?"

"What?" I cocked my head to the side looking at him.

"When you look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that. Any time I do something stupid or any time I do something nice for you and you give me that look you give me." he licked his lips again. "I love that." I stared back at him still smiling and realized that I really must do that. That's what Mommy must have been talking about.

"Was this a good Christmas for you?" he said adjusting me on his lap. I dropped my hands from his face and rested them in his lap.

"The best. I'm going back with you tomorrow to see your family. I miss them. Did you tell them I said hi?"

"Yeah, my mom said you better be there tomorrow or your gift is going in the trash." he said before he laughed. I smacked his arm. It's not that funny.

"Was my son there?"

"You mean MY son. Elijah's mine."

"No, he's mine. Your sister said so, so ha!"

"Doesn't matter. He's mine."

"Well you're mine, so he's mine."

"You don't play fair." I laughed. He's so dramatic sometimes. "Wait. Where's my other gift? You think I forgot about that?"

"What other gift?"

"Mr and Mrs. Claus."

"Well, where's Mr. Claus?"

"I got the outfit in my suitcase. You playin." he leaned up and captured my lips.

"So do I." I said before I captured his lips again. "Too bad, I'm not giving it up."

"If you not giving it up you wouldn't have packed the outfit."

"I brought it to tease. It's sexy, too." I leaned close to his ear and whispered seductively. "It's see through."

I heard him huff and I smiled.

"C'mon baby, it's the season of giving." I smiled and bit my bottom lip while he kissed me down the middle of my neck.

"I'm not giving you anything while my mom, dad, and little brother are in the house Faree."

"You had no problem giving it up that one night." I laughed knowing what he was referring to.

"Well that was different." I grabbed the side of his face and pulled it up making him look at me and leaned close speaking into his ear. "You wasn't so rough back then."

"I'll have Santa take it easy on you."

"Oh?" I leaned back and looked into his face. "So you're just gonna let some other man get my goods?"

"Look. You playing hard to get, let's go." he gripped my waist, standing up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. "Santa been working all year, it's time for him to have some fun." I leaned into his body and laughed as he rushed us to the bedroom.

It's Normal

"I need to go Christmas shopping."

"Yeah, I'd love to see that happen."

"Seriously. I wanna get out and do stuff this Christmas. This is the first Christmas I'm not working and I don't want it to go to waste."

"I guess."

"SB." I stared at his back. "Come with me."

"Do you understand the madness you're going to cause if you go shopping?" he shook his head. "I don't think you get it."

"Safaree, you're suppose to protect me."

"You have like 20 body guards."

"Fareeeeeeeeeee." I wined and leaned into his back. "You need to get into the Christmas spirit." I ran my nails up and down his back, drawing random things with my nails.

"I am. I'm so excited. This is going to be so fun. Let's make cookies for Santa." he said sarcastically.

"You just set yourself up."

"Huh?"

"We're making cookies." I dropped my hand from his back and smiled when he turned slightly to look at me. I turned my back to him and stood up off his bed. "Get ready, SB."

"Ready for what?"

"We're going shopping right now." I stopped in his door way and watched him as he grabbed his phone and looked at the time.

"Nic, it's 2:23 in the morning. You wanna go shopping right now?"

"Yeah, there shouldn't be that many people out. Get dressed." I smiled quickly before I dropped my smile and turned, heading towards my room to change.

----

"See." I said as SB helped me get out of the car. I moved to the side allowing him to shut the door. "There's not that many people." I stared at SB as he looked around the parking lot and looked back at me with a dead face.

"Okay." I slightly laughed and grabbed his hand.

"C'mon."

"Wait." he stopped me and turned me towards him.  He adjusted my hat and my sunglasses. "Aight. You good."

"Safaree, there's nobody here."

"You keep saying that but it might not be like that when we walk in. Lemme do my job, I got this." he turned walking off and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, now you want to do your job. Jerk." I caught up with him and walked behind him.

"Why are coming to WalMart? What are you getting?"

"Just some cute little Christmas decorations for the house. I think I want to get a reef for the door. What do you think?"

"I think it's great if you the one putting that shit up."

"SB."

"What?"

I looked to the right seeing a car coming and sped up behind SB, grabbing hold of his arm.

"Can you slow down?"

"Nah. Let's get this over with." we stepped into the store and were greeted by a little white old lady. She was so cute and short. She grabbed a cart and rolled it over to us.

"Hello, welcome to Wal-Mart."

"Hi, what's your name?"

"Meredith."

"Can I call you Sally?"

I stared at the little old lady as she looked confused. I seen SB trying to walk off out of the corner of my eye and grabbed his hand pulling him back.

"Sure. It's awfully late. What are you two love birds doing out at this time of the night?" I smiled when she said love birds. I think even she noticed the tight grip I had on SB's hand. I didn't feel the need to try and correct her seeing as this lady has no clue who I am.

"Christmas shopping." I said a little too excited. I love the holidays when I can actually enjoy them. "You're a sweet little lady. I want to get you something. What do you want for Christmas?"

She waved her arm at me. "Oh, I don't want anything but to be with my family."

"Aww. That's so sweet. I'm going to get you something anyways, okay? It's going to be a surprise." I said as I felt SB slowly beginning to pull me along. "I'll give it to you before I leave." I said right before he finally pulled me along. He took control of the cart and looked down at me when I slapped his arm.

"Hey, I was talking to her."

"Yeah, I know."

"Okay, so where are we starting? We have cookie dough at home right? I think we should-"

"How you always got a bright idea to do stuff like this but never have it planned?"

"You know what..." I pushed him out of the way and took the cart. "Don't make me hurt you." I turned right down the main aisle. "You look on that side, SB." I looked on the left side while SB took the right. School supplies, school supplies, school supplies, backpacks, more school supplies. Hmmm, maybe coming here was a bad idea.

"Over here." SB put his hand on my back and directed me to the aisle while following behind me. "Yo, they got mad Christmas shit."

"Awwww, this would be cute on the door." I picked up a big red and white Christmas reef that resembled a candy cane. "What do you think?" I turned to SB while holding up the reef, looking between the two. He shrugged. "You're so helpful."

"Aye, I didn't even want to come here. I always get dragged along."

I stared at him blankly but I doubt he could even see that through my sunglasses anyways. I put the reef in the cart and slowly moved down. "Ooooooh, candles." I grabbed a red candle from the bunch and picked it up and sniffed it. "Oh hell no."

"What?"

"Smell this." I leaned the candle towards SB and he bent down to smell it. As soon as he inhaled he coughed. I slightly laughed and pulled it back, putting it back with the other candles.

"I can't with the smell of cinnamon all through the house." I moved down a little a looked at the Christmas picture frames. "We should take pictures."

"For what?"

"Christmas, you doof." I bit my bottom lip. "You think I should call Mommy, Cai, and J? I want to take pictures with the whole family." I picked up a wider Christmas frame and looked down at it. "We should call Mommy Faree, too." I said in a cute baby voice and looked at SB as he shook his head at me.

"You know she hates that."

"That's what she gets for picking on me. Every time I would call you Faree she had something to say." I put the picture fram back and picked up another candle and sniffed it. My eyes bucked before going back to normal. Well, no Christmas candles.

"Because my name is SAfaree. See?" he raised up his arm and pointed to the tattoo that had Safaree written in graffiti letters.

"Faree's cuter. Oooooh, what's thi-"

"I'm sorry..." I heard a voice say. I looked to the right of me and this lady who standing there just staring at me. I seen Safaree step a little closer to me out of the corner of my eyes and dropped my hands down to my side. "Hi." the lady said kind of shyly. She about in her 30's and like she was so tired. Poor thing.

"Hi."

"I understand you must be undercover or something but can I ask you a favor?"

Oh. People always want something.

"Sure."

"My daughter is a huge fan of yours...and for Christmas she wanted to get your perfume. But I just can't afford it, you know? I have four other kids. Do you think you could sign something for me and I give it to her? To make up for it?"

"No, of course. What do you want me to sign? Do you have a piece of paper?" I stared at the lady as she dug into her purse and felt SB move up closer behind me.

"It's okay, SB. I'm not going to hurt her." she said while still digging her purse. We all slightly before SB said something.

"Can't be taking no chances."

"You even know SB? Oh, she must be a fan. I have to sign something!" she pulled out a piece of paper and I took it from her. "Hold on, I'm sure I have a marker somewhere in my purse." I walked over to the cart and  dug through my purse. "There has be on in here somewhere." I felt SB lean on the cart and spotted something even better in my purse...along with the marker too. "I got something even better." I pulled out the bottle of Pink Friday perfume that clearly hasn't been touched yet. I heard her gasp and a smile grew across my face to see the joy in hers.

"Nooooo, I can't take that."

"Yes, you can. I'll still write her a cute little note. Here." I extended the PF perfume out to her and she just looked at it. I cocked my head to the side. "Take it." she hesitantly grabbed it and pushed a few candles back giving me space to put down the piece of paper. I took the lid off the marker and looked towards the lady.

"What's her name?"

"Audrey."

"That's pretty. How old is she?"

"15."

"15? Awww a little ladybug."

I wrote a cute little note to her and handed it to her mom. "You tell her I said to be good, okay? No boys and no babies, just books."

"You won't have to worry about."

"Oop!" I laughed.

"I should be going. I can't thank you enough. You didn't have to do this."

"No problem. Have a good Christmas."

"You too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I waved goodbye at the lady and she turned walking off.

"Well that was sweet." I turned my attention back to all the Christmas things.

"Was that your good deed for the year?"

"I do a good deed all year round Safaree."

"What?"

"Put up with you. Now hand me that." I pointed up to the top at a painting of Santa Clause. He pulled up his pants before he reached up and grabbed it.

"Why Santa always gotta be white? There could be a black Santa."

I was giving him the death glare even though he couldn't see it as I grabbed the painting from him.

"Don't start that mess."

"What? You know you thinking it."  Not really. I held up the painting in front of me and twisted my lips. Hmmm. I guess this could go on the wall you see in the entrance of the house. It doesn't matter, I'll just get SB to do it either way.

"I like it." I picked up the reef and placed the painting down gently before I placed the reef back on top of it. "Hmmm. I want to get stockings for the house. I really need to call Mommy."

"For what?"

"Cause I want to know if they'll be able to make it down here."

"Why don't we just go down there?" I turned, shifting my weight to my right foot and stared at SB as he looked at some Christmas stockings.

"Do you want to go?"

"I'm down."

"Pauz."

"Uhn huh." he extended the christmas stockings out to me and grabbed a Santa Clause hat, putting it on. He stood back and made a pose and I bust out laughing.

"Safaree." I shook my head while laughing. "No. You want to make a deal?"

"Is money involved?" he said coming out of his pose. My laugh ceased and I stared at him. "Shut up and come here." he took off the hat and walked over towards me, tossing the hat back on the shelf.

"Come here. I'm not saying it out loud." he walked closer to me and bent down put his hear to my mouth. "If you dress up like Santa, Mrs. Claus will have a present for you." I said seductively. He leaned back and stared at me with a smirk. I winked and turned back to the Christmas decorations.

"Bet?"

"Mhmmmm." I grabbed a stocking that I figured I'll just fill up with a bunch of stuff for Caiah.

"Aight, deal." I smiled successfully and dropped the stocking into the cart.

"Maybe we should go to the mall."

"It's closed."

"I mean, obviously not right now Faree. But I need more Christmas stuff for the house. Because all of this." I said flinging my hand all over the Christmas aisle. "Isn't working. So.... tomorrow morning?"

"Morning?"

"Yes. You're not doing anything anyways."

"How you know I don't got plans? But nah, if you go to the mall I'm not going."

"Why?"

"Are you renting it out?"

"No, why would I? I'm trying to do normal things this year, Faree."

"You can't do normal things. Ion see why you don't get that."

"So I guess I'll be calling my bodyguards then?"

"The only way."

"You're such a jerk. I hope you know that."

"You tell me everyday."

"Good." I looked over the things in this aisle and sighed. "Alright, let's go. This was pointless." I said while pushing the cart backwards from the front of it. I yawned. "And I'm tired so let's go."

"I told you this was pointless."

"Shut up and push the cart."

Save Me From You

"My beautiful bed!"

"We've only been gone for 3 days."

"You just have to kill every moment, don't you?" I looked over at SB sitting my bags down and saw him head out of my bedroom door.

"Wait." I hopped up from my bed and followed behind him. "Where you going?"

"Studio."

"For?"

"Mixtape. Why? You wanna come?"

"No, I wanna rest. Come lay with me, babe."

"Uhn uhn. Don't start that." he placed his keys in his pocket and turned around to me.

"Can't it wait, Safaree?"

"Come with me."

"No. I don't wanna sit in the studio all day when I can be relaxing." I folded my arms and leaned against his bedroom door.

"Stay here."

"You're a jerk."

"How?" he put his SB chain on his neck and turned to me while putting on his watch.

"Who gets dressed up to go to the studio?"

"Oh, this shit again." he turned back to his dresser and continued putting his jewelry on. "You coming or not?"

"You know what, fuck you, Safaree."

"You know you go from zero to sixty real quick. You snap outta nowhere."

I hate that he tries to be funny when shit isn't funny.

"Safa-"

"We been doing good." he cut me off while switching from his navy blue hat to a black hat. "I don't wanna argue with you." he adjusted the hat on his head. "I know you remember what happened last time." I stared at him as he headed towards me pulling his keys out of his pockets before he walked passed me and down the steps and out the door.

"Nah, I gotta go back to L.A."

Nicki looked up from her phone. "For what?"

"Video shoot with Genisis."

"Safaree."

"What?" he turned around from packing his suitcase and turned to look at Nicki. 

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah." he stuffed another shirt into the suitcase. "Why? Wussup?"

"You're going to leave Australia? This couldn't wait?"

"I told you this before we came here I would have to go back." He zipped up his suitcase and turned around looking at Nicki. "What's wrong?" he asked confused. 

"Tomorrow is my biggest show here and you decide to leave." Nicki put her phone down to her lap and rolled her eyes. "How thoughtful." 

"It's not like I'm leaving for the rest of the tour. Chill."

"Don't tell me to chill, SB."

Safaree looked over at her face and slightly shook his head knowing where this was going. 

"It's really not that serious. I'll be back the next day." he pulled up his pants and took a seat on the lounge. "You good. I don't have to always be around." he grabbed his suitcase off the bed and sat it on the floor, sitting it up.

"Is that suppose to mean something?"

"Nah. You just always have an attitude when I have something to do that don't revolve around you."

"Wow." Nicki folded her arms across her chest and leaned back against the headboard. "Go ahead and say it, Safaree." 

"Say what?"

"What you really tryna say, SB? You always sayin some slick shit and makin me out to be the bad guy."

"See. That's your problem."

"Oh, now I have a problem? Tell me about it."

"You always think somebody's against you." he moved some stuff around on the bed. "I'm just tryna get out. Do some stuff for me...and you make me out to be the bad guy all the time."

"How?"

"I don't even wanna go there."

"No, Safaree. Let's go there. You brought it up."

"Actually I didn't. You brought it up."

"How do I make you out to be the bad guy?"

"I'm already the bad guy out there in the media for no reason. It doesn't help that all you do is embarrass me on twitter and stuff like that. I'm always the bad guy."

"I never even say your name, Safaree. Get the fuck outta here with that."

"You think these people are dumb, don't you? They know who you're talking about. I don't even know why we're talking about this." he said putting stuff in his Louis V backpack. "I got other shit I need to be doing."

"You act like you being here with me is a burden. Nobody made you come along for this, SB."

"Did I even say that? You always jump to conclusions."

"Well that's basically what you're saying!" 

"It's not though." he sat his suitcase back on the bed. "But I know what you doing, so whatever."

"What am I doing?"

"You just tryna keep an argument going so you have a reason to yell."

"How the fuck am I looking for a reason to yell?"

"There you go." he chuckled. "I got other shit to do though."

"You wouldn't be doin shit if it wasn't for me." 

SB paused what he was doing and stood there for a moment. He turned around towards Nicki. "You know it's fucked up that you even think like that." he said pointing a finger at her before he dropped it down to his side and turning back around gathering his stuff. "That's one thing I regret." he said. "Not for me but for you."

"What are you talking about?" Nicki asked with attitude. 

"This."

"Spit it the fuck out, Safaree."

"This business. It's turned you into a selfish ass person." 

"Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Yeah. You was never like this."

"I've always been the same damn way, SB. See, that's YOUR problem. You treat me like the media! Oh, Nicki is selfish! Nicki is this! Nicki is that!" Nicki waved her arms in the air dramatically. "Fuck you, too! YOU'VE changed, SB. Not me." Nicki said pointing at herself.

"How have I changed?"

"You act all hollywood and shit. Don't play dumb."

"Aight. How?" SB turned around and sat on the bed looking directly at Nicki. It was making her even more mad that he was being so calm about this while trying to call her out on things. She didn't like it. 

"Safaree, please. You got a little bit of attention here and there and you act like you don't need me anymore. We were in this TOGETHER, SB." Nicki said waving her finger between her and SB. "YOU changed on ME."

SB rubbed his hands over his face getting annoyed at the fact that something as simple as him packing to leave up to go to LA escalated to this. Was he surprised? No. The tension between them lately has been too obvious. It was like they switched on each other at any given moment. They were just fine this same exact morning and now they're ready to rip off each others heads. It was stressing him out to be honest and he needed a break from Nicki. 

"And it's BULLSHIT! It's bullshit! Now I'm selfish?"

"You really are. You don't even realize it." he said remaining calm. SB was getting angry with himself for even engaging in this argument with her but he needed to let his thoughts be heard. It was just going to build up and become way bigger than it is right now. 

"Ok, tell me how I'm selfish. Point out all the ways I'm selfish."

"It's just little shit. Every time I even do something outside of Nicki we back at this point. It always has to be about Nicki. Damn." he took his hat off and rubbed his head to try and calm himself down before placing his hat back on his head. "All of this shit is getting to your head."

"This coming from you, really? Mister "rich gang?" Save it."

"Nicki, you know me. All that ignorant shit is just for play."

"No, actually. I don't know you."

"Nah, I don't know you."

"Fuck you." Nicki knocked over the teddy bear on the bed that Safaree had given her. "When the fuck is your flight?"

He nodded his head while looking up. "You make this so hard to even be around you."

Nicki threw her hands up annoyed. "LEAVE, Safaree! You have a flight to catch. Go shoot your little video! Go record your little mixtape! Go do you, Safaree!" 

"You kill me with this shit." Nicki stared at him as he stood up and put his backpack on his back. 

"It's always Nicki, isn't it?" Nicki laughed sarcastically. "Mhmmm. It's always Nicki. It's always me. It's always meeeeee. I'm selfish. I've changed. I don't care about anyone's feelings but my own." Nicki said slamming her hand down to the bed and clutching up her phone. She stood up walking passed Safaree. "I'm sorry, SB. Go enjoy life! Get away from me so you can be happy! Just go!" Nicki yelled as she walked into the bathroom slamming the door shut.

I snapped out of my memory by my phone ringing. I hate whenever me and SB are doing good and all the negative things just come back to haunt me...it's crazy how they come in certain moments. I walked down the hall and around the corner to my room and walked over to my nightstand grabbing my phone.

"Candiiiiiiii!" I yelled into the phone.

"Details girl!" Lauren said.Oh lord, it's a 3 way. This should be interesting.

"What?" I asked confused and sat down on my bed taking off my heels. Damn. My feet hurt.

"You. SB. Spill." Candi said.

"He hates me." I lied. "He left. Somewhere with some hoe in a strip club I'm sure."

"What the hell did you do now, Onika?" The government? Oh, this bitch.

"You always doing something." Lauren said.

"Fuck y'all, okay. We're fine actually."

"BITCH!" Candi yelled.

"Girl." Lauren said. I laughed. Why are they so dramatic?

"Bitch, I told you to call me when y'all fix things? What happened?"

"I was busy?"

"Oh?" Lauren and Candi said together. "So I assume he's been tearing that up. Finally! You mean as hell when you don't get some." Candi said.

"You know what, we're really not about to do this. Do you guys wanna know what happened or not?"

"Hold up, girl. Let me get my popcorn." I heard Lauren moving somethings around before she came back to the phone. "Ready."

"Girl, I been ready."

I rolled my eyes. Now that they're done with their dramatics.

"All we did was talk it out." I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my body. I walked over to the my closet and walked over to my sweatsuits.

"That's it?"

"What a boring story."

I grabbed some sweats and put them on.

"Nothing interesting?"

"No crazy argument that lead to make-up sex?"

"That's really it?"

"YES!" I yelled to them as I walked back into my room as walked over to my dresser. I put the phone on speaker and placed it on the dresser.

"We've been telling you to talk to him for months, why now?"

"I don't know." I opened the top drawer in my dresser, grabbed a cute little shirt, and sat it on the dresser. "It was going too far." I took off the shirt I had on and tossed it on to my bed. I grabbed the cute little t-shirt and put it on.

"So where's he at now?"

"The studio."

"Oh you ran him off again?"

"Hold on." Candi said.

'What?" me and Lauren said at the same time.

"Bitch, it was just your birthday. I know you got some. I called yo ass that entire night and you ain't answer none of my calls. What was you doing?"

"I know." Lauren said.

"I know too." Candi said.

"What?" I said.

"Bustin that pussy open in the islands of Waikikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" they said in unison before laughing. Ugh. They're so ugly and immature for that.

"Whatever. I can't stand you guys."

"Oop. I know that voice. She sounds like she's smiling. And you know what that means."

"SB PUT IT DOWN!"

My jaw dropped. Are they serious right now?

"This is exactly why I didn't call you guys."

"Mhmmmm."

"Are you guys coming up here for Christmas?" I said trying to change the subject.

"Can't. Sorry."

"Me either, Nic. Can I get a rain check?"

"What? The ONE Christmas I have off and you guys aren't coming down here? I'm sad."

"I'm sure Santa Beezy can make you happy."

I rolled my eyes. "Bye you guys. I love you. I gotta go."

"Oh? Is SB back?"

"BYE!" I yelled before I hung up the phone.

I ended the call and bit my bottom lip while looking at my reflection in the mirror. I stared at myself feeling a little weird about what happened with SB. I don't want there to be any tension. We JUST got back to being somewhat normal again. Last thing I need is something this little to cause a problem so big. I grabbed my phone and grabbed my keys off my dresser. I walked back into my closet and grabbed the hoodie to my sweatsuit and put it on. I stroked my long black wig before putting my hood on. I grabbed my sunglasses and slid them on my face.

I drove to the studio to surprise SB and....yes, apologize. I parked beside his car and hopped out. Ugh. It's cold outside. I pouted for a quick second before walking up to the studio and walking in. I walked down the hall looking side to side from room to room trying to figure out which room SB would be in. Then I remembered he always uses the same studio. I pushed the door open and stepped in. I looked around for SB and my heart nearly stopped when he jumped out of the corner.

"Why the fuck would you do that?"

"Oh, damn." he laughed while walking over to me. "I thought you was Aree. My bad." he walked back over to the swivel chair in front of the studio controls and sat down. "What you doing here? Everything good?" he looked over towards me.

"Everything's fine." I leaned off the door and walked over to the controls and leaned against them. "Shouldn't you be getting some rest? Back to the grind tomorrow."

"I want to be here."

Music stared to blare out and I leaned off of the control panel. SB laughed causing me to slightly laugh.

"You know you can't be resting that ass on any and everything."

"Shut up." I laughed.

"You know there's a bed and stuff up stairs if you're tired. You don't have to-"

"Hush." I put a finger over his lips and smiled at his face. "I want to be here, SB." I moved my finger from his lips and swiveled his chair around so I can sit in his lap. I sat down getting comfy and grabbed his hand. "I don't want you to think I don't want you doing stuff on your own." I started to play with his hand like I do every time we have a serious talk. "You're a grown ass man." I slightly laughed. "You can do whatever you want. Don't let me hold you back." there was a silence for a little. "And if I am tell me."

"You always over thinking." he said. If that ain't the truth. "I have no problem telling you when you getting on my nerves, Nicki."

I elbowed him in the stomach and smiled when I heard him grunt in pain.

"Meanie."

"Whatever." I stood up and turned looking down at him. "Get to the booth. Let's go. I wanna hear BARZ! Don't come with that whack shit. Up!"

he shook his head and stood up.

"Yeah, you could've got stayed home." he turned to walk off and I smacked his ass.

"Aye!" he turned to me and pointed at me. "Come here." I smiled and shook my head no. "Aye! Over here. Now."

"Do I get my lips?"

"You know it."

I smiled and walked over towards him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pecked me on the lips. He turned to walk off and I stopped him.

"Uhn uhn." I said.

"What?"

"My bottom lip." I pointed him towards me. "Bring it here." he smiled and my smile grew as he came closer to me. I placed a kiss on his bottom lip before releasing and giving him another quick peck.

"Get to work! Let's go!"
-----


this chapter is just eh. whatever.

Do You Remember The Time?

"Do you remember when we first met?" I said with a smile while playing with his hands.

"I'll never forget." I remained still as he got comfortable under me in the huge lazy boy chair. I looked over and down at him when I saw him shake his head. "You was grillin the kid. Hard. Pauz. But yeah."

Nicki threw her leg over the seat of the motorcycle bike and sat down on it. 

"Nicki!"

"What?!"

"You don't know who's bike that is. You can't just be walking around sitting on any and everything." Candi said standing by shaking her head at Nicki. 

"Well, I guess I'm about to find out, huh?" Nicki said as she saw a guy approaching her.

"Who are you?" Nicki stared at up at the tall 6'3, dark with smooth skin, and handsome man in front of her. She smirked and got comfortable on his bike.

"The question is who are you? You should know me."

"Nah. You should know this is my bike though. You on my property."

"Does it have your fucking name on it?!" Nicki sat there for a minute waiting on an answer. "I didn't think so. This could be my damn bike for all you know."

"Stand up."

"Hell no. I don't take orders from strangers."

"Stand up."

"So you're hard of hearing, huh?"

He stepped up closer to Nicki and she yanked back not knowing what he was trying to do. He threw his hands up as if he was surrendering and stepped back.

"I was just tryna let you know...your ass is on me."

"You fucking wish."

"Nah, literally. Stand up. Your ass is on me." He nodded his head towards the seat of the motorcycle and Nicki flipped her hair while standing up. She turned slightly looking over her backside and read the motorcycle seat that had "SCAFFBEEZY" across it.

"So YOU'RE Scaffbeezy? I've heard about you."

"What have you heard. You seem like a know it all."

"Oh? I-"

Candi stepped in and held her hand up. "Look, y'all bullshittin and I got places to go and things to do. Call me when you done with whatever this is. Bye." 

They both stared at Candi as she looked both ways before making her way across the busy NY street.

"So like I was saying. I heard about you from Webb."

"THAT nigga." he said as he looked off randomly at the busy street. 

"Yes, THAT nigga."

"You fuckin with him?"

"Why is that any of your business?"

"Look, I come out of the corner store and some fine ass black and chinese chick is sittin on my bike and I'm being questioned. Shit is crazy." he shook his head and waved at a random guy from across the street that waved at him. 

"Well if your nosy ass must know. No, I don't fuck with him anymore." Nicki leaned back on the motorcycle bike getting more comfortable. She ran her hands over the free space that was in front of her. "He didn't want to change and I don't have time for the bullshit anymore so I'm done with his loser ass."

"That's wussup."

"He said he used to be friends with some Scaffbeezy in Flatbush. Must be you."

"In the flesh."

"So why y'all not friends anymore? The bromance ain't there no more? What-what is it?" she said with a deep, hood, Queens accent. 

"Not that it's any of your business either..." he tossed some random trash that was in his pocket towards the street. "I quit selling drugs and he ain't wanna fuck wit me no more. So it's cool." he shrugged. "Got bigger and better things to do."

"What bigger and better things?"

"Damn. You sure do ask a lot of questions."

"And you should answer them if you want your bike back." Nicki said as she stroked the motorcycle. "I love motorcycles. They're sexy. Aren't motorcycles sexy?"

"I know there's something sexy on my motorcycle right now."

"Isn't she?" Nicki rubbed her hands over her body before squeezing her boobs together and laughing. "Don't change the subject though, nigga." Nicki said as she pointed her long nailed index finger in his face. He stepped up of the curb and leaned on the street light pole. "Why'd you quit the game?" 

"Family's more important." he shrugged. "Can't be doin' that no more." he placed his hands in his pocket. 

"Awww, so you a soft ass nigga? That's cute. I respect that."

"Nah, I ain't soft. I'd just rather look out for them then be doing this dangerous shit."

"So you're a family guy?"

"You don't know that by now?"

"Nigga, don't get cut. Answer the question."

He chuckled and looked off across the street. "You crazy, yo." he turned and looked at Nicki. "You good though, I think it's sexy."

"Are you tryna holla or what?

"Is that what you want?"

"You wouldn't even be able to handle this."

"Bet."

"Nah, nigga. Even if I told you what to do with me you wouldn't know. Nobody can handle me."

"Is that what you think?"

"It's what I know."

"I put anything on it that I could handle you."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"Do you do drugs?"

"Yo, what does that have to do with-"

"Answer the question."

He sighed and shook his head not believing he was taking orders from some girl that's sitting here posted up on HIS bike, that he's never met before. "Nah. Shit is lethal."

"Do you have a girlfriend?" 

"Nah."

"Let me rephrase that, you got a bunch of hoes?"

"I'm a good guy. I don't have hoes."

"You just can't get any."

He sucked his teeth at her and looked off causing her to laugh. 

"So what's your real name?"

"Safaree."

"Hmmm..Safaree. That's sexy. You're Jamaican?" He nodded his head. "So you're good in bed?" Nicki leaned on motorcycle and rested her elbow on it, resting her chin on her fist. "Answer the question."

"I'm great in bed."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You have nice lips too." Nicki licked her lips while staring at his. "I bet you give good head."

"You always talk this freaky with people you just met?"

"I'm a known freak." Nicki slurped. "Trust me." she winked.

"Since you asking me all these questions..what's your name?

"Nicki Minaj." Nicki said in a sexy voice.

"Damn." 

Nicki's smiled with a wide grin. 

"What's the Minaj about?"

"That's for me to know..and you to find out."

"Aight. Since you wanna play. Can I have my bike back now?"

"You trying to be done talking to me?"

"Not at all."

"Whatever nigga." Nicki leaned off her fist and sat up straight, running her hands over the bike again. "Can I take it for a ride?"

"I can take you for a ride."

"Pauz, boo."

"I guess." He said with a smirk. He walked towards the bike slowly. "Is it cool if I get on my own bike or do I need to ask permission?"

"Get on the damn bike, Safaree."

"You know this whole feisty attitude you got. I like it. Keeps me on my toes." Nicki stared at him and leaned back as he got on the bike. "You can call me SB."

"I'll call you Safaree." 

"So you're stubborn, too." He raised the kickstand up. "Hang on." He looked back at her waiting for her to do so. 

"I don't touch strangers."

"But you wanted to take this strangers bike for a ride. Hang on." Nicki rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around him tightly, leaning into his back. She leaned closely to his ear.

"You know you're the first guy to ever talk back to me."

"And why is that?"

"Men are intimidated by me."

"Yeah? And why is that?" he started the motorcycle and Nicki's grip on him tightened. "You good back there?"

"Yeah...it's cause I have balls bigger than the guys."

"So you're a tranny? I can't believe this." he said sarcastically. Nicki burst out laughing and pinched his side. 

"Fuck you."

"Gladly."

"You couldn't get it on my worst day."

"Bet." 

She didn't want to say it but she was really impressed by Safaree. He's the first guy to genuinely make her laugh without trying. Not to mention he was very cute. She didn't want to say exactly that she had feelings for him but more than anything she definitely wanted a friendship. She could tell he was a good guy, her instincts never steered her wrong. 

"So where we headed?"

"You wanted to take my bike for a ride. You tell me." SB said looking back at Nicki.

"Hmmm... I'm kinda hungry right now."

"Name the place." 

"Trini Roti House & Bakery." he pulled off the curb and made his way down the street. Nicki leaned into his back more. He came to a stoplight and Nicki leaned close speaking into his ear.

"You got me?"

"Got what?"

"The bill lil nigga. Real men don't make ladies pay."

"Don't worry bout that. I got you."

"And that's how we got together..." I leaned into his chest and dropped my hand down causing his to fall with mine. "On the bike, late night, Kawasaki, leathers."  I laughed and rested my head back on his shoulder getting comfortable. I could fall asleep right here, right now.

"You was so mean back then."

I gasped. "No I wasn't."

"Yeah. You was grillin' me for no reason."

"I do everybody like that."

"Yeah."

I stared off at nothing in particular. "What was your first thought when you seen me?"

"Who is this on my bike." he moved his hand from under mine and rested it on my thigh. I cocked my head to the side and looked down at him giving him a blank stare.

 "Other than that, Faree."

"You was little and had to be chinese somehow."

"So where you from?" 

"Queens." Nicki said as she put the fork down to her plate while she finished chewing her food.

"Nah. You can't be just from Queens. What are you?"

"A bad bitch."

"A conceited one at that." Safaree said as he took a drink.

"I have every reason to be. I mean damn, look at me."

Safaree put his glass down and shook his head. 

"By the way you eatin that curry chicken, you gotta be from Trinidad."

"And what's that suppose to mean?

"Oh, my bad. No offense."  Safaree put his hands up and leaned back in his chair. Nicki rolled her eyes and went back to eating her food.

"You always go on a date with guys you meet on the first day?"

"Boy, this is not a date."

"Then what is it?"

"I found someone willing to drive me to my favorite spot, pay for my meal, and someone who will take me back home all because he thinks he's going to get some tonight." Nicki leaned over taking a sip of her margarita before speaking up again. "Which he's not."

"Nah. I don't sleep with people on the first night."

"You just saying that to try and help you or are you forreal?"

"I'm serious."

"Don't be tryna play me."

Safaree laughed. "Damn." he shook his head. "I'm serious. Too many hoes out there."

"So you just let me grill you, took me for a ride on your motorcycle, and paid for my dinner and you don't want nothing in return?"

"Nope."

Nicki stared directly in his eyes trying to read him...and he was telling the truth. She didn't know how but she had an instant connection with him. She felt like she KNEW him already though. She stared at him and his blank confused face caused her to smile and giggle.

"Why you staring at me like that?"

"You were telling the truth."

"I told you that."

"Words don't exactly mean shit to me anymore. Trust." Nicki looked down and went back to sipping on her drink. It was getting her a little buzzed, to be honest.

"You don't trust people easily." Safaree said as he pushed the plate up away from him a little more and leaned his elbows on the table. 

"And you know this how?" Nicki leaned back in her chair and cocked her head to the side. 

"You have your guard up with me right me right now. I don't know what for, but I can tell."

Nicki sat there and looked off not understanding how someone she just met was reading her like this. 

"Well. Men aren't exactly to be trusted." Nicki said as she crossed her legs. 

"You had to have some trust in me. You let me drive you on my bike and bring you here."

"I guess I did, huh."  Nicki turned forward looking directly at Safaree. "Guess you are different." Nicki shrugged slightly. 


"Told you I'm a good guy." he said with a smirk.

"You could still be some creep who stalks me after this or something."

"Ha!" Safaree leaned off the table. "You got jokes." 

"Plenty, boo. Plenty." 

"Are you done here or you want dessert?"

"Wow." Nicki said right before she took another sip of her drink. "Dinner AND dessert? You have to want something."

"Not everybody wants something from you." When he said those words it shocked her. Not because of him saying that but because of HOW he said it. It was genuine. He said it in a way that to Nicki, it felt like he was overprotective of her. 

"I'm done here." Nicki flipped her hair over her shoulder while adjusting her leather jacket she had on. 

"You good?"

"I'm fine." Nicki uncrossed her legs and leaned over the table taking one last bite of her curry chicken.

"You want a to-go box?" Safaree said pulling out his wallet and digging through it. 

"Mmmm, mmnnn." Nicki said shaking her head no while finishing her food. Safaree pulled out more than enough money to cover the bill and a tip and dropped it on the table. He stood up, pushing his chair in and walked over to Nicki's side of the table. She looked up at him while standing up.

"You don't have to be such a kiss ass."

"You mean a gentlemen." He said as he pushed her chair in before he followed behind her and out of the restaurant doors. 

"Don't be lookin' at my ass."

"Women."

"Safaree, why did you have to be so fucking extra when I asked you to take me home?"

"You was outta your mind thinkin' I was gonna just drop you off like that." he said with a tired voice. This nigga better not fall asleep on me while I'm trying to stroll down memory lane with him.

"Drop me off at the corner of my block."

"Nah."

"Don't fucking nah me. Do what I said."

"Look, I ain't dropping you off at the corner of ya block. These New York streets ain't safe. I'ma drop you off at your door and Imma walk you to your door. You can make a scene and everything if you want but that's what's gonna happen."

"I'm a grown ass woman. I've been walking these damn New York streets on my own for years and I'm fucking fine. I can handle my damn self.

"The attitude." Safaree shook his head. "Still don't change nothing."

"If you don't do as I say I'll get off and walk."

"I'll ride slowly right beside you the whole way. Go ahead."

Nicki huffed. "Niggas are so fucking hard-headed." 

"This is why I'm single." SB said shaking his head. He continued driving down the street while Nicki gave him directions to her apartment. 

**
"You're not getting a kiss goodnight."

"Don't want one."

"You're not getting a thank you either."

"Don't want one."

"So what do you want?"

"You to walk in your apartment so I can go home."  SB said as he adjusted his fitted cap.

"You know." Nicki folded her arms and leaned against her apartment door. "You really know how to piss me off."

"That's great."

Nicki looked around outside of her door and grabbed a black permanent marker that she left by her door. She turned back towards Safaree and took off the lid. 

"Give me your hand."

"For what?"

Nicki sighed, rolled her eyes, and reached for his hand. She wrote her number down on his hand and looked up at him. 

"You confuse me."

"That's great." Nicki said in a sarcastic tone mocking him from just a few seconds ago. She pulled out the key to her apartment and inserted it into the door. 

"Bye Safaree." Nicki said standing between the door and the wall leaving just enough space for herself.

"It's SB."

"Okay, Safaree."

He shook his head. "Bye Nicki."

"I know one thing I do remember."

"What?"

"When you snapped on me for talking to that girl."

"She was all over you, SB."

"What's your point? Me and you wasn't together then."

"So what." I hit the back of my hand on his chest causing him to be fully alert now. "You knew how I felt."

"Yeah, but guess who also didn't want to be in a relationship with me though? Aight then." He laid his head back down against the chair.

"I really don't even understand why you yellin' at me."

"You always tryna play fuckin innocent, Safaree."

"How am I playin innocent? I ain't do shit but talk to a girl." Safaree turned on his turning signal and  came to a stop briefly before turning right. 

"Don't act like you wasn't going along with it to try and make me jealous."

"I wasn't thinking about you actually." 

"Fuck you."

"Alright." he turned down the next street and stayed focused on the rode. 

"Hurry up and get me home, Safaree." Nicki shoved her purse around that sitting on her lap and leaned back in his seat, leaning slightly towards the window. 

"Yo, you need to chill."

"You need to get me home."

"We go through this everyday." they came to a stop light and he licked his lips while looking out his window. "Every day it's something."

"Yeah, every day it's something." 

"I don't say shit when dudes be all over you."

"THEY come at ME, Safaree. Don't be stupid."

"And she came at me." he said pulling off at the now green light.  "But it's cool. You always got an excuse for everything."

"Safaree, fuck you. And whoever that stupid little hoe was in the club."

"I still don't understand what you mad at me for. We ain't even together." they pulled up outside Nicki's apartment and before he could even stop she opened her door.

"Because every time I try and tell you something you act like I don't mean shit to you." Nicki said with a whole lot of attitude. She grabbed her purse and aggressively tossed it over her shoulder. "What a fucking fantastic best friend you are." Nicki hopped out of the car and slammed SB's door shut.

"Like I said before...you mean when it comes to me." SB said.

"No I'm not. I just need for you to take me seriously."

"That's hard."

"Pauz, boo."

"Nah."

I grabbed his arm again and played with our hands that I kept locking and unlocking together.

"Do you wanna know my favorite memory of them all?"

"Tell me."

"Our talk right before our first time."

"Yeah, ofcourse. All that sappy shit."

"Why don't you just find you a boyfriend?"

"Faree, don't turn this on me."

He huffed. "Why do you wanna talk about this?"

"Why don't  you? You need to find you some love, SB." Nicki said with a slight laugh. She didn't mean he should find love somewhere else though when she is sitting right here in front of him.

"Nah. I gave up on love a long time ago. I'm just chillin now."

"Awwww, you've had your heart broken?" Nicki raised her hand up and stroked his cheek while poking out her bottom lip. He dead faced her and she laughed dropped her hand down in her lap.

"No, I understand." Nicki said. "Truuust me."

"Webb broke ya heart?"

"Not so much him, I just wish it didn't end like that. I mean, we were together for 6 years."

"I could've told you that wasn't going to work."

"Why?"

"Cause I know Webb. He does the same shit."

"Yeah, I figured that out. Better late than never."

"Yup."

"You still need to find you a girlfriend."

"For what?"

"You need to find you the perfect person."

"I got the perfect person laying right here on my bed." Nicki exposed a wide yet nervous smile. She stared at SB, waiting for him to give her SOMETHING. She didn't want to say what her heart kept yelling in her ears to say but his face gave her nothing.

"It's good." SB lightly hit his hand on Nicki's thigh while smiling. 

"You knew? All this time?"

"I kinda figured that."

"How?"

"When you snapped on me in the car that one day for talking to that girl. It kinda clicked."

"And you never said anything? I hate you." Nicki hit SB on the arm and leaned back into the pillows. 

"Was I suppose to? I ain't wanna say nothing til I knew for sure. Cause you be disrespecting me, and I ain't wanna make it worse." he laughed a little.

"No I don't."

"Uhn huh. Sure."

There was a calm silence for a moment.

"Do you feel the same?" Nicki said barely above a whisper, scared of his answer.

"Of course. You gotta know that... I do the dumbest shit for you. That's gotta be love."

"Hey, I do dumb shit for you too Safaree."

"Like what?" Nicki sat there for a minute trying to think. "Exactly." 

"Whatever."

"Yeah." SB turned over and laid on his back in the middle of the bed. Nicki took the opportuniy and straddled his waist. She placed her hands on his chest and looked down at him. 

"How come you never said anything?"

"How come YOU never said anything?"

"Don't start that."

"Start what?"

"Answering my questions with questions."

"I do that?"

"Faree."

"Okay." he laughed. "But yeah. We been best friends for 4 years now. Think it was bound to happen." SB said as he moved his hands to Nicki's waist. 

"Maybe it was." Nicki said with a smile. "So you've had something for me this whole 4 years?"

"Nah, not at first. And I ain't wanna be like every other nigga that was tryna get with you."

"So...about 3 years?"

"You could say that."

Nicki bit her bottom lip and looked off to the side at something random in SB's room. She lifted SB up from the bed and followed what her heart kept telling her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and stared into his face. He realized she didn't want to be the one to make the first move so he leaned in close and pecked her on the lips. Nicki kissed his bottom lip in response to his peck. 

He moved his hands up just a little from her waist to grab at the hem of her shirt. He slowly pulled it up her stomach while she placed kisses all over his face. SB pulled her shirt all the way up and over her head and Nicki followed suit taking his shirt off. He went to reach for her bra and Nicki pushed him down to the bed looking at him with a devious smile. 

"Handle that." Nicki signaled for him to unbutton her jeans and he did so. As she finished taking off her bra and slung it to the side, she raised up pulling her jeans off. 

"Now you handle this." Nicki reached for his jeans and pulled them down as SB reached next to him and grabbed a condom out of the nightstand. He opened it and went to place it on himself when Nicki grabbed it out of his hand. As she slid the condom down on him, she slid down on him and moved her hand out of the way when he was fully in.

"My...gosh." Nicki shut her eyes immediately and moaned getting acquainted to his big and long size. She pulled him close to her and pulled his arms around her for him to hold her. He kissed over her shoulders and collarbone and she moved slowly trying to ease the pleasurable pain. SB was in a world of his own as he enjoyed Nicki being tight and wet. She pushed SB back down to the bed and planted her hands on his chest. He stared up into her face and looked at the pleasurable pout on her face. He placed his hands on her hips and helped her move, keeping her slow rhythm that felt so good to him. He licked his lips and let his hands roam over Nicki's back as she leaned down to place kisses on his chest. She leaned back up and SB began to speed up her pace. He gripped her waist tightly, and moved her in a sort of circular motion at a quicker speed. He groaned when he felt Nicki's walls clench him and took this opportunity to flip her on her back. He looked down into her face and could tell she was reaching her orgasm. 

"Go harder, Faree. Please." Nicki begged without ever opening her eyes. He kissed over her breast and went harder as Nicki pleaded. She grabbed at the bedspread with so much force, she nearly thought she ripped it. SB placed his arm around her body, leaning her up just a little so he could go deeper which instantly caused Nicki an orgasm. She breathed through her clenched teeth and opened her eyes for a quick second to get a look at his face. It told so much in this moment. Not just SB, but they were both in a world of their own. 

He sped up his pace now going harder and faster and neither one of them could take it. Moans and groans filled SB's room, being the only audible noise at this point. She grabbed at his face and pulled it down to hers to kiss him. Never breaking the kiss, he laid Nicki's body back down to the bed and planted his hands down to the bed on both side of her body. He broke the kiss and kissed all over the rest of her body ready to reach his peak. 

"Wait for me." Nicki said as she felt him on the verge of a release but she wanted to catch up. She placed her free hand on his back and pushed him to go as deep as could. "Right there." as soon as she said that his pace kicked into overdrive before he gave her one deep, hard, stroke that sent them both over the edge, breathless.

"Yeah, I remember." SB said. He sat up in the chair properly with Nicki still not moving a muscle on his lap.

"And you've been my baby ever since." Nicki said as she adjusted the blanket over them.

"And you've been mine." he said as he placed a kiss on the back of her shoulder.

"Always." Nicki grabbed his arms pulling them around her.

Birthday

"Are you happy to be in Hawaii?"

"For business? Oh, I'm completely overjoyed." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"Be excited." I cocked my head to the side and stared at SB as he slung his Louis V backpack over his shoulders. "Your birthday's tomorrow."

"And you know I hate celebrating my birthday."

"And you know I'm going to make sure you do anyways." He reached for the luggage I was leaning on and grabbed the handle. The elevator doors dinged and I followed behind him.

"Where's Grizz? He's supposed to be filming this."

"I told him to go away."

"Why?" I turned down the hall behind SB who seemed to know where we were going. He stopped at the last door on right and pulled out the card, sliding it in the door.

"You got things to do."

"It's my day off, Safaree." He walked in our penthouse suite and sat the luggage to the side. "Wow. It's really nice in here.

"BOSS!"

I paused in the middle of the suite looking around. "Can you not act like such a buffoon right now?" I walked over to the table looking at this edible arrangement in the middle of it. It was so beautiful, I didn't want to touch it. The beautiful colors were so vibrant. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and took a picture. I clicked the share button and typed the tweet.

OMG, doesn't it look so beautifully delicious barbz?! :)

I locked the phone and grabbed a grape from the fruit display.

"You're not suppose to eat that." I looked over at SB who came jogging down the steps like a maniac. "Yo, these steps are nice. Got all this marble and shit. Look at this." I turned fully and leaned against the table watching his hands grab at the pole that the steps were wrapped around.

"No." I laughed knowing what SB was about to do. "I swear." He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows before he jumped up and clasped on to the pole and slid down. "Now if you would've fell or hit your head..." I shook my head.

"You would've been sad about it." he stepped around me and picked at the other edible tray that I didn't even notice.

"Was it your idea to get that so you can tease?"

"You say that like you stick to your diet anyways." he looked at me blankly while shoving a chocolate covered strawberry in his mouth.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and stuck out my phone to him. He grabbed it and put it in his back pocket and went back to the edible tray. I pushed away from the table and walked towards the steps.

"Don't eat all of that chocolate, SB." I walked up the steps while looking down at SB going in on the food as if he hasn't eaten in years...pauz. "I'm serious, Safaree."

"Yeah, I heard you."

I shook my head. He's still not going to listen to me. I walked up the steps and stopped. I looked back and forth from the door to the room on the left and the door to the room on the right. Hmmm...bet it's the right. I stepped over to the door and pushed it open.

"Haha, yes!"

I knew it was mine when I saw a huge bouquet of roses in the middle of the bed. I smiled at it being a perfect coordination of white, pink, and red roses. Oh! The hotel gave me a card. How sweet. I reached for the card and opened it. My smile grew as I looked over the card. There was the ugliest sloppiest heart I've ever seen with it signed "Fengali." I dropped the card to the bed and walked out of the room and down the steps.

"SB!" I made it down the steps and he entered the room coming from the back patio. He walked into the kitchen and hopped up, sitting himself on the island. Like I said...a buffoon.

"Wussup?"

I walked over to him and stood between his legs and looked up at him. "Thank you." I rested my hands on his legs. "Those roses are beautiful."

"Dope, ain't they? I got them sent here from Wal-Mart. Ballin'!" I rolled my eyes and hit him the stomach. He always turns something cute into something ignorant. I tugged at the bottom of his shirt signaling for him to scoot closer to me and he did. He put his arms around me and they rested on my lower back.

"You know if we were still mad at each other and you didn't get me anything, I would've beat your ass." I tried to keep a straight face but with Safaree's straight face I couldn't hold my laugh in. "I'm serious, though."

"If we was still mad I woulda just got you black roses." He shrugged.

"And I still would've beat your ass."

"Why? I think they look dope actually. I want some at my wedding. Red and black."

"Safaree, I am not having a wedding filled with red and black roses."

"Did I say I was marrying you?"

"Who else is gonna want you, Safaree?"

"You wanna check my phone?"

I cut my eyes at him and leaned back from him a little bit.

"You sure you don't wanna check my phone, Nic? I got all the-"

"Shut up, Safaree." I leaned back into him. "I'm happy with you right now and I don't wanna have to beat your ass and go off on some random hoes."

"Jealous?"

"Absolutely not. I have nothing to worry about."

"Really?"

"Mhmmm." I wrapped my arms around him and looked up at him. "You'd be out of your freakin mind if you ever left me."

"Same goes for you."

"Oh really?"

SB smirked and nodded. "Guys like me are hard to come across. You lucked up."

"I guess I did, huh?"

"Yeah." he nodded his head. "Yeah. But enough small talk. Go get ready."

"Ready? For what? I told you it's my day off."

"And I told you you're celebrating your birthday. Go get dressed."

I pouted. I know he's trying to do something nice for me but I really don't feel like being bothered with a lot of people right now.

"Chill. It's just gonna be me and you, go get ready."

"Can we just do something in here? Please?"

"This is definitely the last time I do something for you."

"No. Okay, fine." I dropped my hand from around his waist and turned to walk away. "But I'm not dressing up!" I pointed at him while walking back up the stairs knowing damn well I was still going to dress up anyways.

---

I grabbed onto Safaree's hand and walked up the few steps. When we made it to the top I stopped. He stopped and looked back at me.

"Nicki."

"Faree."

"Don't start this."

"Please."

"You always act like a baby on your birthday. I'm really gonna stop doing stuff for you."  I knew SB wasn't playing by the tone of his voice but he knows me more than enough by now to know that I don't like celebrating my birthday. I looked down at our hands that were connected just a second ago but not anymore , I looked up when I seen SB turning away. I reached out for his arm and stopped him.

"Baby."

"We can go back to the hotel. It's cool."

"I'm sorry. Come on." I grabbed at his arm pulling him back to me. My face went blank at the satisfied smirk on his face. "You just love to hear me beg." I said vaguely. He stepped forward leading us to wherever the hell it is that he has us going.

"Yeah, in bed. It's kind of annoying right now." I let go of his arm and stopped. He turned around and laughed at the face I was giving him I'm assuming. Ain't nothing funny.

"Alright, alright. Come on." He turned around and continued leading the way as I followed behind him. How Safaree knows his way around Hawaii like this I have no idea. I ran my hands through the long black lacefront I had on. Only Safaree can get me to wear this. I don't know why. It's beautiful I just don't like wearing it without a hat.

"Watch your step." SB turned around to me. "Stop." I looked up at him.

"What?"

"I told you not to wear heels."

I looked around and realized why. We're on the beach. I put my hand on his shoulder and he put his hand on my waist to help me keep my balance. Leaning down, I took off one heel after the other and clutched them in my hand. I walked down the steps and followed Safaree over to a huge ass cabana.

"This is weird." I said.

"Huh?" he continued walking forward not looking back.

"No one's here on the beach. It's always a lot of people." I looked down at my feet. I really hate walking in sand.

"You know I had to get this shit cleared out." He stepped up onto the set of the cabana and reached out for my hand while his other hand reached for my heels. He walked me over to a bed that was set up in the middle and sat me down. I stared at him and made my self comfortable sitting on the bed as he sat my shoes in the corner of the cabana before he turned around and placed himself down in a big lounge chair over in the corner.

"I know we're not staying out here all night, SB."

"Why would you think that?"

"I'm sitting on a bed.What's this for?"

"Sex on the beach."

"Safaree."

"I'm playin'." he laughed. No you not. "I know you like looking at the sky and all that. You could lay there and watch the sunset."

"You're not gonna watch it with me?" I pouted. He shook his head no. "Is this suppose to be romantic? It's not."

"Yeah, it's not." he agreed quickly.

"You're such a jerk. You're mean to me. Even on my birthday."

"Technically, it's not your birthday yet."

I grabbed a pillow that was lying next to me and tossed it at him. Jerk.

"Aye. Keep it up and you won't be getting your gift."

"What gift?" I cocked my head to the side and looked at him. "I told you I didn't want anything, SB." Listen to me. Lying.

"Your gift is here."

I looked around. "Well, where is it?"

"Go find it."

As soon as he said that my face dropped. He has to be fucking kidding.

"You're really out of your mind if you think I'm going to go find some gift you got me."

"That's fine." SB snuggled up to the pillow and got comfortable. "This day isn't moving til you find your gift." he adjusted his hat a certain way so it wouldn't interfere with how he was laying on the pillow. "One of your gifts anyway."

"You are such an asshole. I hope you know that." I slammed my hands down to the bed and got up.

"You don't let me forget."

"Can your stupid ass at least tell me what I'm looking for?"

"A letter."

I rolled my eyes and stepped back into this dumb ass sand. I swear after this is all over I'm going to kill Safaree.

---

I sat here in the sand playing with my nails. I'm tired of this. Safaree is out of his mind and all I want is my gifts already. I don't have time to be playing games with him. I looked over next to me. Wow. I've been sitting by the note for 5 minutes already. Really? I grabbed the note and got comfortable and leaned my back against the tree. I opened the note and read.

Nicki, Nicki, Nicki. I swear you are the most difficult woman that has ever entered my life. From the moment I met you, you was difficult, and you have been ever since then. There's plenty of times when I can't stand to be around you, when I'm tired of you nagging me, and getting mad at me for shit that other people did wrong. All of that. I know lately I haven't been the easiest to be around either. I know just like I can't stand to be around you at times it's the same for you... and a lot here recently. Sorry for the stress I know I've caused lately..and sorry for the hurt I know I put you through. Thanks for being the best friend I could ever have. Thanks for bringing me along with you on this when I know you didn't have to. Thanks for still being there to help me out even when you're busy with your own stuff. I'm writing this and you probably pissed at me right now. In your room on the phone talking about how much you can't stand me.. or thinking about how much you can't stand me. How you wanna beat my ass for leaving all those liquor bottles on the table. All that stuff. So even if you're mad at me, ofcourse I'ma get you a bunch of stuff anyways. I hate to see you frown, I'd rather see you smiling. Yeah. The quote goes something like that. But back to the point at hand. Happy Birthday to the most beautiful, smart, caring, hard working woman in the world. You deserve the best, Nic. I hope I give that to you.. P.S. Stop crying. I tried not to be all sentimental in this for that reason. 










Ha! You thought I was gonna end this without sayin' it, huh? I love you. OFGang. Niggas.

I dropped the note down in my lap and wiped at my face. I grabbed the note and stood up making my way back over to where SB was. He put his phone down in his pocket when he saw me walking up and slightly shook his head.

"Stop it."

"You stop it, SB." I walked over to the bed he was now laying on and laid beside him. "You know easily sensitive I am." I wiped at my face and sat the note down in the tiny space between us. "You do this shit on purpose I'm sure."

He rolled over onto his back and took that opportunity to scoot closer and lay on his body. I rested my chin on his chest and looked up at him.

"You wanna know one thing about you that irritates me?" I reached my hand up and played with his ear.

"Let it out." He said mocking me. I looked off at the beautiful waves that were making such a beautiful and peaceful noise.

"How you make me feel. You're the only guy who has ever made me want to kill them and kiss them all in one moment like you do."

"Why you wanna kill me?"

"You always make me cry." I moved my hand from his ear and stroked his cheek.

"You'll be fine." I sat up on the bed and pulled at SB's arm. He looked at me confused. "What?"

"Come with me."

"Where?"

"Come here." I pulled him off the bed and stood him up. I let go of his arm and walked down closer to the water. I stopped to where the waves only made the water hit my feet and stood there taking in the view. I felt SB wrap his arms around my shoulders and smiled. I grabbed on to his arms and that were wrapped around my shoulders and leaned into his body.

"This place is so beautiful."

"You're beautiful." he pulled me even closer to him than I already was and kissed me on the cheek.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Say it."

"....I was scared."

"What? When?"

"When we were mad at each other. Yeah, we argue but not like that." I shook my head. "Not like that. That was scary."

"Why?" I looked down not saying anything. "Say it."

"I thought you were gonna leave me..not like you do sometimes and come back, but LEAVE me."

"I don't think I could leave you if I tried." he chuckled. "Yeah, we argue. And I always say I'm done with you but.." I felt him shrug against my body. "Here I am. I told you I'm in this forever."

"Can we do something?"

"What's that?"

 "Can we never let it get like that again? Promise me."

"Promise. Can you do something for me?"

"Hm?"

"Stop getting so mad at me so easily."

"Stop being such a jerk to me sometimes, Faree."

"I guess. We both just need to chill sometimes."

"I guess there's one good thing that comes from you having a temper problem."

"What?"

"Well.. if you didn't have the temper problem you do you'd be terrible in bed."

"Ha! I got a lot more anger you haven't even seen." he leaned closer into my ear.

"Please, Safaree. It's been how many years?"

"Nah, trust me Nic."

"How about you show me?" I said seductively. I turned around in his arms and put my hands on his sides looking up at him.

"Out here?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled leaning closer to him. Before I knew it I felt SB's hands grab at my thighs from behind lifting me up.

"Ugh! You know I hate when you do this."

-------

...and that's it. yeah. lol i don't really like this chapter. and the other half when she got the rest of her gifts just disappeared :////// but i hope you enjoyed. the next chapter > this one