Too Little, Too Late???

I yanked my key out of the door pushing it open. I'm so ready to just cuddle up in my bed and get to sleep. My face dropped as I looked straight passed the living room and into the kitchen. What the fuck is this mess? I shut the door behind me and dropped my keys in the bowl on the dresser against the wall. I sat my purse down as I pushed my hair out of my face and licked my lips trying to calm my now agitation.

I walked over towards the kitchen and shook my head.

"Why does Safaree do this?" I spoke out loud. My hand went to clean up the mess when I stopped. Safaree can clean this shit up. I turned and walked down the hallway and made a left down the hall. His door was slightly opened and I pushed it back to see nothing but his ass spread out on his bed, fully dressed and everything, knocked out. I leaned up against his doorway and stared down at him.

I was pissed but more so hurt. I wish he would stop trying to drink his problems...or...our problems away. He promised me he would stop drinking and I come home to big ass empty bottles of vodka everywhere. Half of me wants to wake Safaree up, slap the shit out of him, tell him to clean up his bullshit mess and drill him for this shit. But it's only going to cause more tension between us and I don't even feel like being bothered with his stupid ass.

I turned off his light and slammed his door shut knowing it wouldn't bother him a bit. I walked straight down the hall towards my room while taking off my jacket. I was getting irritated more and more and it's not even that serious. I walked into my room and tossed my jacket into my cute little pink chair in the corner of my room. The littlest shit with Safaree ever since last night has been pissing me off. I don't even know if I'm mad at him or more mad at myself. I wish I could just get away from everything and everyone for just a week. I need to be at peace. I need to get my mind right.

I sat on my bed and sighed while taking off my heels. I closed my eyes and threw my head back, rolling my neck in a circular motion. I hurried up my process of getting undressed and hopped in the shower before I headed to bed.


Nicki walked down the hall of the hospital looking side to side at the doors trying to find what room Safaree was in. She turned down the hall and found it, first door on the right. She pushed her purse up on her shoulder more and slowly pushed the door open walking in. She looked over at Safaree and smiled when he smiled. He got up out of the chair and walked over to Nicki embracing her in a hug. When he released her from the hug, Nicki walked around the hospital bed and hugged Tracy, giving each other a kiss on the cheek. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m good.” Tracy said with a smile as SB now sat beside her holding her hand.

“Where’s the baby?”

“Down in the nursery, I can take you down there.”

Nicki gave a slight smile and nodded. She watched as Safaree stood up and kissed Tracy on the forehead.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Safaree, I’ll be fine.” She said with a slight laugh. “It was nice to see you, Nicki”

“Nice to see you too, babe. Congratulations, again.” Nicki said with a smile as she followed behind Safaree as they made their way out of the room. Nicki silently shut the door behind her and sped up a little to be side by side with SB.

“My bad. I know it’s early but I wanted you to come see the baby.” He said looking at Nicki as she continued looking straight ahead.

“Of course.” Nicki smiled and looked at Safaree for a quick second before she continued looking straight ahead not wanting to talk much.

See. When Safaree put his foot down on his relationship with Nicki, shit changed. A lot. He was no longer interested in trying to make things work with her because she was being so difficult. When that happened, Nicki put more anger towards SB than even he predicted. He knew she would be mad but he didn’t know Nicki would just completely cut him off. So their friendship was dead for a while, but Safaree wasn’t having that. He put effort into making their friendship still existent regardless of their personal feelings. It was hard for him because Nicki had so much anger towards him. It took almost a year for them to even get back to talking to each other and their friendship still isn’t how it used to be. 

Needless to say, Safaree moved on, meeting Tracy. At first, Tracy wasn’t too fond of Nicki and the feeling was definitely mutual. Their relationship was so difficult in the beginning because she knew he was in love with Nicki.  Nicki didn’t like the fact that Safaree found someone else, and Tracy couldn’t stand the fact that Safaree was in love someone else. It was so clear. That caused a strain on their relationship before Nicki actually stepped in. She didn’t want SB to unhappy even if it meant for her to be unhappy. So she stepped in and fixed the damage. She met up with Tracy one night and they sat and talked about Nicki and Safaree's "relationship."  She explained to Tracy that though they have feelings for each other, there's nothing between them. She didn't want SB to be worried about Tracy because Tracy was worried about her. 

When Nicki found out they were getting married, her heart sank. I mean, obviously he found someone else but when she found out that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her she was crushed. It was too late. She couldn't go back and change things, it was already too late. She still remembers her conversation with SB before he actually proposed to Tracy.

****
"I won't do it, Nic. All you have to do is promise me that you'll work with me on us and I won't. I still want to make us work." he stared at Nicki with welled up tears in her eyes.

It was hard to say what Nicki wanted. She was still in love with SB. Her feelings had never went away for him and they never will. She had just recently met someone and developing strong feelings for them as well. It was just too much for her to handle, too much for both of them to be honest. Nothing ever happened how things should have when it came to them. 

Nicki wiped at a tear and shook her head no. "You'll be better of with someone who's not so damaged. Tracy can be better for you than I can." Nicki grabbed her purse and turned walking out of  Safaree's apartment.
****

 It was difficult for Safaree. He was genuinely in love with both of them, all he wanted was for Nicki to try with him, but no. Safaree was upset that Nicki didn't attend his wedding. He knew what was going on in her mind but he wanted her there. He needed her there. It just so happened that she started her tour on the day of his wedding. Everything changed. They were not longer that inseparable pair anymore. They lived two completely different lives now.

"This way." Safaree put his hand on her lower back and lead her to the left. They made their way over to the nursery and stood looking through the glass at Safaree's baby. 

"She's beautiful." Nicki said with a genuine smile. SB nodded his head and smirked. "What's her name?"

"Nicole. Nicole Rae Samuels... Nicki for short." Nicki's smile was slowly fading as she turned her head towards Safaree. 


"Faree, you sh-"

"Nic, it's fine."

"That's not a problem for Tracy?"

"No, and if it was she would have to deal." Safaree lightly chuckled while Nicki still looked uneasy with the situation. "Me and Tracy wouldn't even still be together if it wasn't for you."

"I don't want you guys to feel like you owe me, I-"

"Nicki, stop." he caught her hand that began moving frantically and held it in his. "We need to get back to us, Nic. Really, I don't like this distance.. This wall you have up. So." he licked his lips like he always did out of habit. "Hopefully this will bring us back together." he let go of her hand and turned facing forward staring down at Nicole's little body moving a little while she was still sleep. 

"I miss you." Nicki said while looking straight ahead and down at the baby. "I really do. If I could go back and change things I would, Safaree. I wanna be there for you guys, I'm going to make sure I make time for little Nicki." Nicki gave a slight laugh with a heart-filled smile. 

"Good... because me and Tracy want you as the god-mom." Safaree turned his body towards Nicki and leaned up against the window seal. 

"Of course I will." Nicki said with the smile still plastered on her face as the baby continued moving around a bit. Nicki stared at the baby's little hands that would open before balling into a fist again. Nicki felt her phone vibrate and she pulled it out of her jacket pocket. She looked over the screen to her phone and sighed. She put her phone back in her pocket and stood up straight leaning off the window seal.

"I have to go." Nicki said as she pushed her purse up on her shoulder more.

"You want me to walk you down?"

Nicki shook her head no. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Safaree, you don't have to be so protective over me still." 

"That's forever." he said with a slight laugh. He extended his arms and Nicki walked in, accepting his hug. 

"Faree, it's cold." Nicki leaned out of the hug. "Nothing's changed." she shook her head. "Why do you still wear so many chains?" 

"I'll be icey forever. Belee dat."

"Oooooookay." Nicki patted him on the chest with a laugh. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah. You bout to catch a flight?" 

"Mhm." 

"Call me when you land."

"Okay."

Safaree shook his head.

"What?"

"I'm serious. Let me know when you land."

"I was serious, SB."

"Yeah." SB adjusted his hat. 

"I will call you Mr. Overprotective." Nicki looked down at her phone. "I gotta go. Love you, SB." Nicki turned to walk off and looked back at him as while still walking ahead. "Tell my little Nicki I love her too." Nicki said flashing her flawless smile. 

"We love you too." He flashed a quick smile back at her and she turned her head back around to watch where she was going. "Have a safe flight, Nic." she waved her hand in the air without turning around as he watched her walk through the doors and stepped on to the elevator. 


I'm tired of having all these dreams lately. If their not about my past with SB it's about my future with SB. I just want to not having to think about this for atleast a couple of hours and I can't even get away from this in my sleep. I rolled off my side to where I was laying flat on my stomach. I adjusted my pillow and rested my head on it. I can't imagine me letting SB go like that. That dream was too much. Everything felt so awkward and like we haven't talked in years. I never want it to get that far. Ugh. I'm tired and starting to feel a headache coming on. I just want to get in bed and lay next to him so he can hold me, but. I shook my head and pulled the covers up on my body, hoping to get back to a peaceful sleep.

------

"Stupid."

"Candi!"

"What? She is."

"Wow. Seriously? Wow."

"I'm just saying. You so damn complicated."

"How come every time something goes wrong y'all barking at me?"

"Cuz YOU the problem."

"I will gladly hang up on y'all bitches."

"Look. See, Lauren. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Everyone else is the problem but Nicki. Nicki never does anything wrong."

"I hate being on the phone with you guys."

"Girl, stop calling us."

"Candi, get off the phone. I'm going to just start calling Lauren from now on."

"That's fine but when nothing gets resolved because you know Lauren ain't gonna give you constructive criticism, don't call me."

"Bitch, yes I will."

"Oh, we have a backbone now?"

"Can we stay focused?" I spoke up before they could get started. They're worse than me and Candi.

"Look. You did this to yourself."

"No I didn't, Candi! He just flipped on me for no reason, all I was doing was talking to a fan."

"And you JUST told us the real reason behind why you did. Because he was talking to a girl. Two wrongs don't make a right Nicki."

"And two rights make a left. What's your point? I did nothing wrong, he shouldn't be such a baby about situations like this. He should get over it by now."

"That's your problem." Lauren finally said. I rolled my eyes and bit into the chocolate chip cookie that I know damn well I shouldn't be eating. I pulled out the chair at the table and sat down with box of cookies and my water.

"And what problem is that exactly."

"You're-"

"SELFISH!" Candi blurted out before Lauren could finish. I'm selfish? The irony seeing as their not sparing my feelings at all right now.

"I'm not selfish. I care about him."

"Which explains why you find a reason to push him away or go off on him any chance you get. Right."

"No I don't!" I almost yelled. Talking to them is pointless, they never see my side of things. I'm not trying to hurt him...I finished chewing the cookie and grabbed another rolling my eyes as Lauren began to speak up,

"You do. We're trying to be fair with you Nicki but you're not being fair with yourself. You're going to regret it if he actually moves on."

"What if I move on before he does?"

"Yeah right. If you can't even allow yourself to love SB, who is everything you should want seeing as of who you are and HOW you are...tuh. There's not way you're going to be with someone else."

"Your ass needs to just be with Safaree." Lauren said.

I rolled my eyes. Their always worried about Safaree and how he feels, yet they suppose to be MY best friends. I bit into the cookie before placing down it down on the napkin. I held the phone to put it between my ear and shoulder. I listened to them continuously go in on me while I opened my water and took a sip. I placed it back on the table and grabbed the phone when I moved my shoulder back down.

"I wish you guys would understand. I'm trying to save me and SB's friendship. I know you guys' nosy asses have seen how we've been with each other in the past 3 months. It's not healthy, and I don't want to risk losing him."

"Can you come up with a better excuse? I'm tired of this same one."

"It's not an excuse Candice." I gave the most blank stare as if she was there to see my face. "I'm serious."

"Girl. I'M serious, listen here. You don't listen to me and Lauren so-well wait. You don't listen to me cause Lauren don't tell you SHIT! So. Until you can figure out what's going on between you and SB, and by that I mean until y'all get together. Don't call me about this mess 'cause you stress me out."

I went to speak but snapped my head in the direction of the door when SB walked in. Candi and Lauren became inaudible as I watched him take his coat off and drop his keys in the bowl against the wall. He placed his phone in his back pocket and walked straight to the back room not even acknowledging my presence. I rolled my eyes instantly becoming annoyed and dropped the cookie down to the napkin.

"Hellloooooooo....?!?!?!?" Lauren and Candi said at the same time.

"What?"

"Okay, what just happened?" Lauren said.

"He just walked in didn't he?"

"Mmmmmmhhhhmmmmm." I looked down staring at my nails.

"Go talk to him."

"No."

"See, we can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. I don't know about Lauren but I gotta go. Remember what I said too. Don't call me til y'all got things figured out. Bye."

"Uh!" Nicki said out reflex on how quick Candi hung up the phone.

"Yeah, actually. I have someone's make-up I need to do, so I gotta go."

"Whose make-up, Lauren?" There was a silence. I rolled my eyes "Liar."

"I love you, work things out with him!" she said before she quickly hung up the phone. I rolled my eyes again and dropped my phone on the table. Getting up from the table, I grabbed the container of cookies and put then back in the pantry. I grabbed my half empty water bottle and placed it on the door in the refrigerator. I picked up my phone and turned down the hall heading to my room. As I turn the corner I pass SB. Not even  looking in my direction or speaking to me. If he wants to be a baby about this then two can play that game! I walked into my room annoyed at anything and everything. I shut the door behind me and plopped down on my bed. I'll just use the emotions to write.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Uhm, I don't know what the hell is going on with blogger but it's not letting me post over on Beautiful Love :/ I'll be surprised if this even posts'. But as soon as blogger will allow me to post over there I will. PROMISE! xx SN: I appreciate those few of you who actually comment as well. I love the feedback.

Interlude [Safaree]

It's mad hot inside this house. I don't see how Nicki does this shit. I feel like I'm in the Devil's kitchen. She should never have to wonder why people never want to stay over here long. And it would be now that I can't find my mini fan too. Great. I looked around my room at all of Nicki's clothes on my floor. I don't know why she insist on getting dressed in my room. Doing too much. I bent down picking up my shirt that Nicki loves to wear. I've never even wore it cause she has the shirt 24/7. It's a dope shirt too. Red shirt with "Damn Gali" in black across the front. I tossed it on my bed knowing to give it back to her whenever she gets back. Talkin about she needs time away from me, smh.

I cleaned up around my room before heading to the living room to watch a movie.TED. Yeah, again. That's probably one of the funniest movies ever. I thought it was gonna be on some dumb shit since it's a talking teddy bear but I laugh through the whole movie. The simplest shit in the movie is hilarious. I should have been casted for it, to be honest. Would've been ever more ignorance. Luuuuuug.

Every time I try to relax, Nic pops up in my mind. I can't even believe something that little made her say that. She's been walking around here all day actin like nothing happened. She still wont speak to me though, as if I've done something wrong. Her attitude and stares towards me just make me not want to be in the same room as her. I shook my head tossing the remote on the couch beside me. This is crazy. Every time we take a step forward we get thrown 3 steps back.

 Maybe I overreacted last night but damn. I didn't think it would have led to that. To be honest, I don't even think it was that. I know what the problem is, and it's not me. It's Nicki. She's been running from us since we slipped up that one night back when and had sex. That was when everything changed. I get it, she doesn't want to hurt our friendship but damn. It's like she doesn't want to be happy. As soon as we even get to a point where we're happy she pushes me away.

I don't know how much longer I can take this shit. I feel like I'm trying for no reason. If she doesn't want us to work then I'm not trying anymore. I've had it. We been back and forth with this for four years. She keeps throwing my feelings off like they don't mean shit to her. So I'm done. Starting now, deadass. I'll still be here for her like a friend but that's it. I need to put my foot down. I sighed and shook my head leaning it back on the couch and put my hat covering my face. I've let Nicki take control of too much shit. It's time I separate myself from Nicki and do more for myself. Starting now everything is about to change.

But I know Nicki is not gonna take this easy. As soon as she realize I'm done with this she's only gonna put more anger towards me. That's the hard part. I don't want it to be like this. If Nicki wasn't so damn difficult everything would be cool. I felt my phone vibrating and ignored it. It's nobody but the Vaks and I don't feel like hearing them tryna convince me to go get drunk and fuck some random hoes. I huffed. Fuck this shit. I took the hat off my face and placed it on my head. I got up from the couch turning the TV off. I'll just get drunk here by myself til I get tired and fall asleep. I need to get this shit off my mind.

-------------------------


And here I'm trying to sum up what's going on with Nicki, how she feels and what's kind of going on in her mind....

I wish that somebody would bring me a compass, or even a map just something to distract me from the fact that I'm lost. I got caught up in the world-wind of experimentation and I don't mean sexual relations, or physical stimulation limitations, I got lost by love. And I found a good one, a really good guy but when you're stuck in a negative mind-state you feel like happiness is a lie, and you wait for someone to do you wrong, cuz you've never been done right. So you put on your scariest mask, pull out your ugliest words, stab deep wounds with your sharpest attitude and wait for someone to abandon you just like you assume you deserve. See I grew up making the assumption that you date to break up, no such thing as a permanent make up, you marry to divorce, make rules just to enforce and you forget that love is about loving somebody, not picking them apart. Not fighting, but love. And I waited years for Safaree to mess up, I ran from the truth cuz it wasn't enough. I wanted lies. I wanted to be fooled so that I could move forward and not worry about being lied to or fooled anymore. I spat hate, he swallowed pride. I cooked pain, he threw up lies. I kicked him out, he came inside. I walked away, he walked beside. I called him out, he never denied a thing. He continued to be patient and I hated it. I would yell anytime that he left the house with hopes of driving him so crazy he would approach another girl with the same lips that kissed me goodbye. I would get an attitude whenever he would tell me how much he loved me in hopes that he wouldn't love me anymore, and I would finally be free... What's free about nobody being there to defend you when you're called out your name, and now that I've grown up being free just isn't the same. When you come across a good man, don't scare him, don't share him, and when you're given the truth, don't pray for a lie....

We'll Be Fine...

I saw you guys saying you want me to update more ;p and sorry about that by the way! School's been kicking my ass but fall break is coming up soon and i'll be able to get back into the groove of things. I feel like this chapter is short, and I don't like it :/ bleh. Sorry. Anyways, here's your chapter guys! xx

---

I opened my eyes rolling over hoping to be met by SB's body, but no. I hate when he does that shit.

"Get up."

"Excuse me?" I turned my head looking in the direction of his bathroom seeing him walking out.

"The Vaks and them went to get breakfast. They should be back soon." I turned my head back to the other side watching him go through his drawers getting out clothes for him. "I had to tell Candi's nosy ass you wasn't feeling well when she asked why we wasn't going." he said as he put on his clothes before walking over to me. He sat down on the bed staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Mhmm." I dropped my head back down to my pillow. Damn. I'm still worn out from last ni-well, this morning. I giggled quietly and ofcourse Safaree and them supersonic ears heard me.

"What's so funny?"

"Can I think? All up in my business."

"I'm 'bout to be all up in ya business if you don't put some clothes on." I turned over onto my back and he smiled looking over my body before he looked back up into my eyes.

"Since you're offering, I could go for some morning head right now." I smirked.

"I'm sure you could. But you don't want a round three." I dropped my smile and he smirked.

"And you know this how?"

"Cause round 2 in the shower you couldn't handle it." he said getting up from the bed. I pulled the covers up over my body and laid there staring at him as I watched him move around the room cleaning up. "If the shower wasn't  on they would've heard you." he tossed me one of his t-shirts. "I guess I do a body good, huh?"

"Shut up, Safaree." I sat up and put on the t-shirt he tossed me dropping it down over my body. I moved my hair out of my face and tossed it up into a messy bun. "You wasn't THAT good." I said trying to keep a straight face as I climbed out of his bed.

"Liar."

"Am I?" I smiled as he walked up closer on me and wrapped an arm around me. He smells so damn good when he gets out of the shower.

"Yeah."

"Move, Safaree." I put my hand on his chest trying to push him back but he only tightened his grip. I looked up directly in his eyes. "Move." We had a mini stare down before I pecked his lips. "Now move." he slapped my ass and let me go. "I can't stand you sometimes." I said right before I walked in his bathroom and started the shower.


---

"So where were you this morning?"

Oh, here we go. I rolled my eyes and avoided eye contact. "I wasn't feeling good."

"Right."

"Yup." I continued avoiding her eyes and replied to the emails from Manny. He always be telling me last minute shit.

"You seem fine now."

"I know how to pull it together." I raised my head up from the phone and looked over towards the door. "Are you guys ready yet?!" before I could finish the Vaks and Safaree came walking out of the door.

"LET'S GO!" Rex yelled. Him and that thick ass haitian accent. I rolled my eyes and we all got up to head out.

I really hate club appearances and I've had a lot of these lately. Candi, Lauren, and the Vaks were up in the balcony area while me and SB were down here mingling and talking with all the fans. This club appearance was a little more different than the normal ones though. It was kind of like a meet & greet. I was loving it. Until I looked over and seen SB and some random bitch being too friendly with each other. The irony in his actions right now. I smiled at one of my fans I was talking to, hugging them before they turned to walk off. I stroked my hair and looked around at nothing in particular, nodding my head to the beat. I wanted to go say something to SB, but I'm not one to cause a scene in public letting it interfere with my business. But it was pissing me off. It's like we can never just be civil for longer than a week. I looked back in his direction when I seen him lean down to give her a hug as she whispered something in his ear. My jaw dropped and I immediately picked it back up trying to not to be so obvious. I looked away trying to calm myself but I couldn't for some reason. The way he acts when I am even close with another person and he does this shit.

I felt a hand on my arm and turned. I smiled at this person showing up at the perfect time. I'm guessing he was a fan of mine. Well, obviously. He was cute too, not my type, but cute. Lightskin, looked around 25 or 26. Had the sexiest arms too. Damn. Perfect opportunity to play with SB.

"Hi babe, what's your name?" I placed my hand on his arm muscles. He smiled at me and placed his hand on my lower back. I looked up to see one of my bodyguards trying to rush over before I waved them off. Not everyone is trying to hurt me, damn.

"Quez. Yo, congrats Nicki. Shout out to you, you're reppin big for the females out there."

"Well, thank you my baby." he smiled and ran his hands over his goatee causing me to smile. Aw, he does have a cute smile too. Nice teeth.

"So, what do you? What's your job?"

"I'm a bartender."

"Oh! Do you have a girlfriend?"

He pulled me closer a little to speak in my ear over the loud music. "You asking me on a date, Ms. Minaj?"

"Boy!" I stepped back a little with a slight laugh. You give someone an inch and they take the whole damn ruler. "No. I was asking so I can holla at her." I winked and smirked and by the look on his face he had know problem with that. Men are such pigs.

"Oh, alright. That's nice." he said nodding anxiously like it was really about to happen. "You think I could get in on that?" Not even on my worst day, boo.

"Not even a slight chance." I said with a smirk.

"Wow. You really just gon shut me down like that?"

"You'll be okay." I said giggling and rubbing his arm.

"Ah, man. I gotta go though, I just wanted to let you know I think you're dope...and hella sexy." I laughed.

"Well, thank you. You're not too bad yourself." he put on a cocky smirk. You can't tell niggas shit.

"It was a honor to meet you." he held his arms out for a hug and I embraced it. Inhaling his Gucci cologne my thoughts immediately went to Safaree. I leaned out of the hug and held my smile long enough for him to walk off and as soon I turned my head I see Safaree giving me a look. Not THE look, but the other look. He was pissed. Oh, a dose of his own medicine and he can't take? Interesting. I smiled as I seen him making his way over to me with a displeased look. He grabbed hold of my arm gentley and leaned down to talk in my ear.

"What was that?" Ha! Really? I leaned closer to him speaking softly but so I could be heard but not by everyone else who was around.

"If I cared I could've asked you the exact same thing a second ago." I heard him suck his teeth. "Now let go of me."

"You always playin' games."

"We're not about to do this here. Seriously, SB. Now let me go." he released my arm and I rolled my eyes at him before putting on a fake slight smile.

---

Safaree keeps huffing and puffing over in the corner and shit. This driver is going slow. And Candi, Lauren, and the Vaks are staying at a hotel. They said they knew something would happen between me and SB and planned ahead. Smh. Are we really that screwed up? I hate that this little ass thing that's not even a big deal came between our time with them because I missed them so much. I sighed and stared at my phone screen. I sent Candi and Lauren a group message apologizing to them and for them to call me in the morning. I just want to go in, shower, and go to sleep, but I know that's not how it's about to go down. We pulled up to the house and I sighed of relief, making my way out of the car at a fast pace. I walked up to the door and stuck my key in pushing the door open. I pulled the key out and cracked the door enough for SB who was still behind. I walked over to the couch and sat down to take off my heels. I placed them on the floor and got up heading to my room when I seen SB enter the house.

"Nic."

"I don't want to do this, SB." I kept my focus on getting to my room and in the shower as I walked down the hall unbuttoning my jeans.

"That's your problem now, Nicki."

What? I see he's clearly not going to let this go.

"Alright, Safaree." I turned into my room as he followed behind me. Consistent ass.

"You always being extra with niggas. Fuck is up with that?"

"Nothing, Safaree."

"If it's nothing why you keep doing it?"

I stopped at turned around looking him in the face. "Why do you keep questioning me like I'm doing something wrong? I'm an entertainer, SB. I'm doing my job." I rolled my eyes and turned back around stepping into my closet. I walked over to my pajama section that I never put to use until I have nights like these.

"You think it's cool to just be flirting with niggas in front of me?"

I grabbed some sweats and tanktop and turned to look at him. "You thought it was okay to be all over some bitch in front of me." I walked past him and sat my clothes down on my bed. I walked over to my dresser and began taking off my jewelry.

"So you did it because you seen me talkin to another girl?" I ignored his question and kept at it taking off my bangles. I regret wearing too many of these during moments like this.

"Nicki." I heard movement at the bed and assumed he sat down. I took off my necklace and placed inside the jewelry box that I bought it in and closed it, moving it to the side.

"Seriously, Nic." I huffed and threw my head back. He never lets shit go. He alwaaaaaaays wants to talk about it, and I don't. Every time we talk it blows up into something more and I don't feel like doing this tonight.

"Seriously, SB. Can this wait until in the morning? Seriously..." I looked up through the mirror and our eyes connected. I stared him down trying to let him know that I was in no mood to argue with him but he wasn't getting the hint.

"This is what's wrong with us now. You don't never wanna talk about shit."

"So why you still try to get me to talk is beyond me."

"Cause you always playin games with me. Straight up."

"Safaree, all I did was TALK to a fan. That's it. YOU were the one all hugged up with some random bitch and I could give a fuck less. Now are we done here?"

"You're acting."

"Acting like what, Safaree?" I said with an attitude. Gosh, I wish he would just let it the fuck go. I took off the jacket I was wearing and tossed it towards the bed.

"Acting like you don't care."

"Don't tell me what I'M doing, SB. I don't go telling you about yourself, so don't tell me." I walked past the bed wiggling out of the jeans I had on and stopped in the bathroom taking them completely off.

"This is why we-"

I cut him off before he could even finish. "This is EXACTLY why WE need to stop this. You get mad over the LITTLEST shit! We can't keep this up, Safaree. It's done." I couldn't even believe the words that just came out of my mouth. My heart began to race but my body was still calm in a way. I heard him getting up from the bed and make his way to the bathroom door. I felt his presence in the doorway and avoided looking in his direction and stared at the shower.

"Yo are you serious?"

I nodded my head not sure of what to say still not looking in his direction. My mind was saying one thing and my heart was definitely saying another. I could see out of the corner of my eyes his body tensing up. He sighed and leaned on the door with his hands over his face. I bit my bottom lip before I took off my shirt.

He dropped his hands from his face. "Yo, you seriously feel like that over this?"

I crossed my arms and looked down, speaking in a low voice. "I have for a while." What the hell am I doing right now?

"Nicki."

"No." I shook my head and held up my hand. "Just go, please."

He backed up from the doorway and I slowly began pushing the door closed as I looked over his face and body language when he turned away from me. I noticed the hurt but, fuck. I'm hurt. WE'RE hurt. Our friendship is hurt. The way this has been going lately is not good. We're okay for like a week and then we're back at it. I want to stop before it gets too far but am I even making the right decision? I sighed taking off my bra and thongs and sliding into the shower. My emotions began to take over and I wanted to cry. How did this little thing come to this? How did I even get the balls to just tell Safaree those words? Hell, I don't even know if I mean them. Tears began to burn at my eyes as regret began to take over my mind. I feel like shit is only going to get worse from here.